I've been nice to her, and she hates my guts?

Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Male
I wanted to be a friend with a girl who didnt even know me and she didnt like me either.... i bothered her too much... but after 5 or 6 months i start liking one of her friends...

i spoiled my first impression in front of them but one of her friends were my friend (just a friend) and she is her best friend (to whom i like). they all r nice. ok then.... i told her friend that i like ur friend and she promised me that she wouldnt tell her. i didnt want to tell her that i like her very much because she likes someone else so dearly and that guy is in my class and he doesnt like her... he swear her so many times... infact he doesnt even give lil respect to her but she likes him so dearly. thats why i didnt want to tell her that she likes me. soon we became friends.

i emailed her and i asked her to be my friend then she said no but after few weeks she became my friend. i dont know what happened to her... what came in her mind... i thought she become a friends with me because i m friend with her love, so she wanted me to get some info about him. i dont know exactly what was in her mind. i didnt care. i was happy with her friendship. sometimes she react rude sometimes good. but she didnt like me.. i didnt want her to like me because i knew that she likes someone else. i just wanted to be her good friends.

then... in summer vacation she got to know that i like her and then she didnt say anything to me... she just said that she likes me as a friend but she didnt love me or like me. i was happy with that. after few days i went online and she didnt talk to me nicely and then blocked me on chat. i feel rude but i didnt care. after that she never came online on my account, we never met online in summer vacation.

when school reopened, she didnt talk to me at school. she didnt even say hi... after one or two weeks i tried to talk to her but she didnt want to talk to me. i asked from her friend that what happened why doesnt she want to talk to me. she said "i dont know" and said she doesnt like u. i emailed her so many times but she never replied. once i talked to her and told her what was in my mind but i never said that i like you... once i asked her but she said NOOO. and she knows that i like her. i talked to her but after that her friend told me that she was swearing u after u have finished ur talking.

finally... after a week or two she swore at me without any reason... i still dont know why?? and from that day i didnt try to talk her... i didnt talk to her and all of her friends since 2 months and now i m missing her 2much.. but she doesnt want to see my face. i dont know what to do..

all of her friends told me that "SHE HATES MY GUTS" i dont know why.inver said anything bad. she hates my guts... she thinks that i jealous of her because she likes someone else but noo i dont jealous and i told her. i dont know...

here i need ur help... tell how can she talk to me nicely.. how can she become my good friend again... and how can i talk to her?? how can i tell her that i m not that bad. please tell me i m 17 years old and shez only 16 she looks better. what should i do to her and tell me some tricks. should i talk to her valentines day... but i scare because i know she wont talk to me and all of her friends will make fun of me. i know that.. i want some different kinda advice. a good one. please help. tell me today... please reply back... please

RomanceClass.com Advice
It really sounds like this girl has some confused priorities. It sounds like you've been nice to her, and didn't try to press her into anything. And in return she's sworn at you and was rude to you. Some girls in high school get wrapped up in being a "teenage girl" and that they have power over boys, and the power sort of is a rush to them because so far in life they've had parents and teachers always telling THEM what to do. So they start having "fun" by being mean to boys, or teasing them, or flirting with them on purpose only to then put them down later. Or flirting with boys only to laugh about it later with their friends. It's not a very nice way to be, but it happens.

In any case, it really sounds like this girl isn't being very nice. She may look good, but one of the important lessons you learn in life is that a good package is NOT worth dealing with a nasty inside for. Really, I would look around you and notice some of the sweet girls that are undoubtedly around you. Spend some time with them and learn what a real friend is all about. Maybe someday this other girl will wake up and realize how important friendship and treating people with respect is in this world. But it doesn't sound like it'll be any time soon.

I'd also stay far, far away from the telephone game. Any situation where you're telling others how you feel about a third person, or asking them for information, is BOUND to get out of control. If you want to know something, ask that person. But the more you go prying behind peoples' backs, the worse things get.

Good luck!

-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com

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