Being Obsessed with Girls

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
I seem to have a few problems that have been bothering the hell out of me for quite a few years now. Im 21 years old, average looking, slim and pretty tall. Also shy at first, then very talkative and hyper. Anyway, my problem seems to be that whenever I am around certain kinds of girls in a social type environment, I become very obsessive with them. Like at work, I see a good looking girl who seems nice and immediately I cannot think about anything but her. Its like a girl-fever or something.

I just dont think other guys go through the same thing. I mean if I am anywhere near the girl I cannot think about anything but her, and how I can possibly make social contact with her, whether by asking her a dumb question or running into her. It seems to be always one girl at one place that I am at that I become obsessive with. I feel like an idiot, and also shallow because I know nothing about these girls. I just know they are cute and they are always polite. What the hell is wrong with me? Advice
I think most of us, male and female, have had times in our lives that we were obsessed with someone :) Sure, it may also be that you tend to be slightly obsessive in general, so it happens to you more frequently! Some people do have obsessive-oriented personalities and it's just something you learn to live with.

Attraction has to start somewhere, so if you know nothing about the people around you, what they look like is at least something to begin with. So the next step is to learn more about this girl. Put that obsessive nature of yours to good use. Many brilliant people in the world had obsessive aspects to their personality, which helped them learn a ton about a subject and really excel. So learn more about this girl, what she likes and enjoys. Then learn more about those topics. Now when you go up to her, you have something you can talk with her about, and a way to build up a friendship.

-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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