I'm Very Jealous, how do I stop?

Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Male
i am very jealous with my girl friend. i know that i can lose her but if i let her go out with her friends i am suffering while she is having fun. what to do to stop this jealousy of mine?

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RomanceClass.com Advice
Good for you for realizing how dangerous jealousy can be. It can easily destroy a relationship that otherwise would have been perfectly happy.

I have lots of tips on handling jealousy here -

http://www.romanceclass.com/miscr/LoveCat/23682

but in essence you have to realize that you love your girlfriend because of what she is. If you then try to cage her up and *change* her, she won't be the girl you love any more. She'll be a sad, lonely, depressed shadow of her former self.

You need to ask yourself, why do you suffer when she has fun? Don't you want her to have fun? It's not healthy for someone's life to revolve totally around (and only around) one other person. To be a well rounded person, she needs a variety of friends, with different points of view, different attitudes, different voices. It helps her learn and grow.

So yes, she should spend time with you, and you two should have fun together! But she also needs to spend time with other people, and so do you. When you go out with your friends sometimes, you enjoy them, right? She does the same. When she's out with her friends, find something to do that YOU enjoy! That way you're both having fun, and when you get back together you can tell each other all about your fun adventures.

-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com

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