I have a problem with snooping through my boyfriend of almost four years' emails

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
I have a problem with snooping through my boyfriend of almost four years' emails. He has no idea that I am doing this. I mainly did this because when we first met he lied to me about not having a girlfriend when he did. Once I started looking through one email address I could not stop. Now he goes to this website all the time where he can look at other girls that he knows from colleges and message them. He tells them how cute they are and wishes he could be with them. It really hurts that he seems to have this hidden "fantasy" of finding other girls. He doesn't even tell me the things he tells them. I'm too scared to confront him about my problem because I don't want him to be mad at my snooping. I know how he will react because I confronted already about snooping through his phone and he was not happy. I would let this go and maybe even let him go, but now we have a child to think about. How can I ever let this psycho fetish go.

Troubled

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RomanceClass.com Advice
First off, stop snooping--you're going to get caught on of these days.

Somehow you need to bring up the topic of his online habits. You could do it by asking hypothetically about doing that kind of activity. However he answers, you follow up with asking him if he does it or if he does it a lot.

If he totally denies it, then you have a problem on your hands. Now you have a lying partner. There are few things worse than lying to your mate. It is a sign of disrespect and lack of caring for the relationship.

Since you have a child together, I can understand you don't want to push too hard on him, but you have to figure a way to get this problem out in the open.
Or, perhaps you just want to ignore it and hope for the best?

Good luck!
George

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com

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