He is also having problems trusting me, because I told him that I held hands with another guy when we were fighting

Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Female
My boyfriend and I have been together for a year and a half. Until recently we have hardly even fought. I always trusted him more then ANYONE, and we are best friends.

About a month and a half ago, We got into our first big fight, I didnt talk and the next day, he was with his friends and they were all making out with these new girls they met, and one said to him "Haha, you cant do this because you have a girlfriend." He said he knew, and his friend said "Just do it, she wont know." So he close mouthed kissed this girl. I think if we wouldnt have fought, nothing would have happened, I also think it was affected alot by his friend. (Its the only friend of his I dont get along with).

I asked him about it, and he said that nothing happened, but he started crying. A couple days later, he said he thought that we needed a break (we hadnt broken up once the whole time we were together) and he wanted to make sure he really loved me before he spent the next few years of his life with me. Over the break.. he madeout with that girl.

I was very very hurt by everything, but I started hanging out with other guys. Not even a couple days passed and he called me crying and said he still loved me. I told him if he wanted to try again we could. So 2 days later, he asked me back out, and I said yes. And I understand that we are young (Im 15 and he is 16) so he could have just been confused about what he wanted.

He promises me that nothing like that will happen again, and that he doesnt have feelings for her anymore, but he still hangs out with her. She also has told me that nothing will happen between them, and Ive made friends with the girl since this happened.

But now, I get extremely jealous whenever he hangs out with ANY girls. And I have a hard time trusting him, not as much anymore because we have had some serious talks, its more just the jealousy issue.

He is also having problems trusting me, because I told him that I held hands with another guy when we were fighting (I know, but it was a big deal to him) and he says I have to many guy friends.

We spend alot of time together, and we always have fun together, But this issue of what happened has been coming up alot because I cant get it off my mind. He gets mad whenever I bring it up though, because I told him I wouldnt anymore, but it hurts me knowing it happened.

Is there anyway we can work on our trust issues? We both promise each other nothing else will happen, and we have a great relationship, and we have always had great trust before this, but this is much deeper then just promises.

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RomanceClass.com Advice
Trust can be rebuilt by doing what you have been doing: talking about your day to day life and expressing your love for each other.

The jealousy can be cured if both of you promise to never bring the past up again (the bad past). Neither one of you did anything that terrible that you should be making yourselves suffer over.

Here is a good webpage to help you fight jealousy: http://www.romanceclass.com/miscr/LoveCat/23682

Good luck!
George

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com

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