Thinking about Post-High-school

Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Male
okay so i've been dating a girl for over five months. every single day our relationship gets better. I've looked over the site here and i see a lot of good things on here that i see in our relationship. we both care about each other and its more of a...sort of emotional relationship i guess. not so much physical. I'm one of those people who won't say love until i mean it and i dont plan on having sex till i find someone i love...but with this relationship i'm just amazed. we are both there for each other and all that.

it's a really strong relationship and we dont get jealous that often, if we do we work it out. we work out all our problems. but this is the one big one we haven't worked out...because we dont talk about it. I'm a junior and she's a freshman.

i see nothing wrong with that but its when i graduate from school...thats where the problem lies. I dont know what to do because i dont know if she's really gonna want to stay with me and work on a long distance relationship. we always just shrug it off and all that. I just want to enjoy my time with her but i honestly dont know how long that will be with me going off to college. and i know people change... we might not be together then but i honestly think we will be.

i guess i just want ya know? i want to know what the future for us holds. how would i go about asking her about it and when should i? is it too soon to ask now? i know she gets upset when we think about the future sometimes. any help would be greatly appreciated. Advice
It's great that you two are getting along so well and are so well matched. Really, worrying about something that is going to happen a year and a half from now is pretty fruitless, though. There's really no way you can ask her what she will do then, because her entire mindset will probably be MUCH different by that point. You guys will have been together for 4 times as much time as you are now. Your relationship will be vastly different. The way she thinks about high school will be different, because she'll have been in it for 2 years, not just getting used to the first year. There is no way to answer now how you will feel then.

You need to build your relationship with faith - that if you guys are really still in love and a great match, that you'll find a way to make it work. Tons of people do long distance relationships and they work if both people actively care. So if you guys are at that state at that point, it will work. If you aren't, it'll be moot.

So enjoy what you have now, and work on building and reinforcing the relationship. That's what will make the question of "what to do" even possible in a year and a half. But trying to *plan* now or ask for "what will we do" now is all very premature. You'll know when the time comes.

-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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