I did mention in passing that I might be falling in love with someone he acted very weird
Visitor's Question from a 31-40 year old FemaleHi
I'm a 30 something female who has been having a long distance relatioship with a younger man.He lives in Europe I live the US.Actually I should have said I was having a relationship because he broke it off about a year ago. He told me over the phone that he met someone else. I asked no questions of how and why I wished him well and hung up.We had no contact for about 8 months. I had started to get over him and then one day in february of 2005 I see him on line while being on MSN messenger. He started talikg to me and while I was a little apperehensive I talked back and we ended up talking for over 3 hours. It felt good and natural like old times. He did make a point of telling me that he always thought about me and even though he "screwed up"that he wants to be my friend. We have talked on the phone a few times since then and the connection is as smooth and natural as it was before he broke off with me.He is single at the moment and while we do not talk about each other's possible new mates when I did mention in passing that I might be falling in love with someone he acted very weird.I have not brought up the subject again and he has not asked. The trurh is I was seeing someone for a few weeks but it did not work out. The last time I spoke with my ex over the phone we chatted happily for over an hour he told me of his work problems I told him of mime and he kept repeating how no one else gets him as I do.He thanked me for calling him at that presice moment when he was feeling very down and how I am the only person that can lift his spirits.He wants to be my good friend and I also want him in my life I just know if he still has feelings for me and if our incredible connection and easiness of speaking to each other means something more than a simple friendship.Should I continue being his friend even though he is 5.000 miles away and even though I'm very confused if it's only friensdhip that I'm interested in?As an afterthought I should mention that we were "together" for almost 4 years saw each other twice during that time for about a month each time and the rest of the time we were communicating through the phone and the internet.I care deeply about this man and he says he cares abot me as well.Do we have a chance at rekindling our love, and one more thing :We have not talked about the breakup and his betrayal.Any suggestions would be very much appreciated.
Thank you
L*
RomanceClass.com AdviceAsk yourself what is your ultimate goal wiith him.
Depending on your answer, you should take your actions. Do you want to spend the rest of your life with a long-distance relationship? If so, it seems like you can keep doing what you are doing now. The love will probably rekindle.
If you want a physically present relationship, one or both of you need to move. These are obvious questions and answers. But, you are going to have to go through the possibilities and determine where you feel comfortable.
Talk with him about your feelings in this regard and find out how he feels. Go from there.
Regarding the breakup and his betrayal: talk about it. If you two want to maintain a good relationship, you should be able to talk about anything you want to. And, don't play mind games like telling him you are falling in love. Deception can ruin a good relationship.
Best wishes!
George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com
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