She kicked him out of their apartment and just informed me yesterday that she is pregnant

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
Hi. My situation is a little odd. I met a wonderful man a few weeks ago. Things were going great, until I got a call from his live-in girlfriend (whom I didn't even know existed)! She understood that I had no idea, that he is a good liar and manipulator. I felt bad for her, cuz I've been in her situation before. But, on the other hand, I really, really like this guy. She kicked him out of their apartment and just informed me yesterday that she is pregnant. She asked me please not to tell him. Being the trustworthy person I am, I promised her I would not. I had a long talk with him and he explained everything. He knows that he messed up royally, was selfish and hurt a lot of people. He feels so bad for what he did. He said he wasn't happy with his girlfriend, but was too afraid to tell her. He says he will not give up on pursuing me and that he will never lie to me. I told him that I have a hard time believing that and he completely understands and is willing to do ANYTHING not to lose me. I am an educated woman and I know what the easiest thing to do would be, but I feel he deserves a second chance. He knows I WILL NOT tolerate lying or cheating and I made it a point to try to make him feel comfortable enough with me to not want or need to lie in the future if I do decide to continue seeing him. I just don't know what to do.

Lady-V Advice
The most complicating aspect of this situation is that the girlfriend claims she is pregnant.

It raises several points. What will this guy's reaction be when he finds out? Will he run back to her? If he doesn't go back and a baby is born, he will be fiscally and, perhaps, emotionally attached to the baby.

I also wonder about your deception in this matter. You have made honesty such a vital part of your relationship, you may undermine your position by holding back this information.

My advice is to not make a decision about him until the baby issue has been dealt with.

Good luck!

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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