She seems genuinely capable of working to solve our differences , and she is a beautiful person

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
My longterm girlfriend and I were living together and I thought we were on track to being together forever. But then, we went through a few months of hard times- stress& money problems, being cold toward each other. She broke up with me and moved out- I was shocked and devastated.
I then got some things solved for myself money/career wise right away and was committed toward getting her back above all else, and as we worked things out over the next month, she started coming around and, finally, had a complete change of heart and said she loved and needed me, and started to talk about moving back in together. She also got a new job and had made some positive changes for herself.

But during this reconciliation period I had gone out a few times with a friend of ours (one of my ex's best friends), who had also just broken up from a long relationship- and during these times I felt a close connection with her and a lot of sexual tension, and I developed a serious crush on her over the span of a week or so, and over the next month, in spite of me trying to resist it and keep my distance, this crush occupied my mind more and more, and from what I did see of her it became clear that she was interested too (if reluctant due to the circumstances). I stopped seeing this friend because the guilt of pursuing my ex's best friend was too much, and have basically put a stop to getting back together with my ex- it was impossible anyway becuase she could tell I was distracted and confused when I would see her.
It's now been about 2 months and the problem is, I don't see any way to decide what to do- I have strong feelings for this friend, and more in common with her, but I am tortured by the sadness of ending the old relationship: my ex has been destroyed by the breakeup, and seems genuinely capable of working with me to solve our past differences , and she is a beautiful person who I had assumed I would spend the rest of my life with. Deciding just on those merits, it seems that I would definitely want to give her another chance. Is there any way to decide, other than just making pros/cons lists and waiting for clarity to come? Advice
You really need to decide with your heart.

My read from what you said is that your heart is really with your ex.

The best friend seems like a distraction and will probably not last.

However, your ex and you stand a good chance of a long lasting relationship.

My advice is to make up your mind soon before they both evaporate.

Good luck!

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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