He was getting frisky ...

Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Female
my boyfriend and I went to a game on Saturday night. On the way home we started kissing and he started to give me a hickey and was trying to get into mah pants. Does this mean he only wants to get into my pants or does he really like me?



RomanceClass.com Advice
Sex and Love are completely separate things. Yes, they CAN go together. But often they do NOT go together.

It all comes down to ANY pressure at all. Love is about caring about the other person first, no matter what. Love is about being completely considerate of your partner's concerns and thoughts and desires. It is about NO pressure, NO demands, NO overriding of hesitations.

If you're asking about his motives, it sounds like you weren't sitting there begging him to do these things. So if he is doing these things even though you have hesitations or are even the SLIGHTEST bit unsure about them, this is NOT love. It means he has sexual drives, and you are there, and he therefore feels he can use you. That's not what love is about. Love would have known that you were not quite into these things and would have STOPPED.

Don't ever, ever let yourself get pushed into or talked into something you are not 100% happy and enthusiastic about. You are a special person, there is nobody else like you. And you deserve to be treated well by someone who loves you. That means NO pressure and NO wheedling. If your boyfriend doesn't understand that, somewhere out there is a guy who DOES and who will treat you the way you deserve to be treated. Believe me, if someone feels it's OK to pressure you at this point, they will keep pressuring you with every other step of the way.

-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com




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