I reminded him how loving we used to be but there was of no help
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old FemaleHi,I am 21 and my boyfriend is 22 we went on for 2 years, and he broke off with me last month.
We used to have alot of time spending together(almost everyday while in school)but he seldom calls me,he once said he had plans for our future,he used to give sweet kisses and hugs, and also did quarelled over small things many times,i will called to patch things up.He always asked me to join his family outings but did not really want to join my family outings.
He emailed me saying all was his fault and all, in the beginning he said he had being singlehood for too long and don't know how to handle relationship and if anything goes wrong its all his fault.
He had said he wants to break off with me a couple of times and i cried to him I don't want to break, he too cried and had said he regreted what he did..
He is the possessive kind of guy, don't like me to wear revealing clothes and go home too late.I was ok with that as i thought it was meant to be good for me.
My boyfriend is serving NS (National Service) and can only be available on weekends and my job requires me to work on weekends occasionally.One day after leaving his house for dinner he did not send me home like he used to do, he said he was tired. And that same day, he msn to me saying he had no more feelings for me, he felt that we are so drifted away, he say he feels weird going out with me and that is not like last time where we can talk anything.
I phoned him he reject to pick up a few times then at last he pick and i said i don't want to break off with him but he was certain this time,i explain maybe is the NS that make us so drifted apart and all but he said it was long ago he felt that he got no more feelings, he was trying if he could find the feelings back.
I reminded him how loving we used to be but there was of no help.I say the next day i will go and find him to talk face to face but he say that will only make him hate me more.
I just wrote all my feelings in a book and gave him that next day.I just place it at his gate and went off as nobody open the gate. he sms(phone message) me saying he was asleep, ya i think is true because he must had a bad night thinking just like me.
Next after that incident, he knew my leg got some health problem and he sms me to see the doctor.Oh y he care when I'm not her girlfriend anymore.My friends said maybe he's guilty and don't have false hopes.
He don't seems to care what I gave him for our anniversary and he did not even wish or give anything on my birthday and anniversary..He can come and tease me saying "Somebody birthday is over." when we meet up.I understand he comes out on friday nights and goes back on sunday evening so he may not have the time to buy anything for me.But guess he did make up by bring me and his family to a grand buffet dinner.
I started to read books on relationships and think i am at the wrong, i think i had pampered him too much and give too much affection to him until he gets tired and don't appreaciate me anymore.
One day, when he is home he went online,he msn me saying we could be friends.I said I'll try..he said i understand if you can't for certain reasons.
His family seems to like me and one day after the break off, when online, he ask me if I had told my mum about our relationship, as friends yet? I said no.. and ask him too he also said no..(is that important?)
I had made him quit smoking last time.And this fine day after the break off, while he's in NS, he said a roommate(a primary school friend of mine) quarell with people and they are smoking together.I just replied something like: he could not even stand the smell of smoke the other day and still want to smoke? as a friend's advice, don't smoke. He replied that he is a social smoker only, and tell me he downloaded 60 songs in his cellphone.And i just ended the messages by saying alright save your battery to listen to the songs, it is only monday and there is no charger over there. (the sms seems like what he used to send)My friends was surprise that he can treat me like friends so fast. Why must he tell me small things like this, is he testing me? or is he trying to patch things back?well i don't know.
The next day i went on chatting online to a guy whom my bf(boyfriend) used to ask me to blocked, and I sms my bf said i am chatting with him and he might go NS and to the same camp as him then he said he knew many friends and will deal with him as in bully him, in a joking manner..Well he is not jealous after all..
Is he still into me, i guess not.. but i wish he was.. why can't he face me and tell me the break off issues but do it using words, online and smses..
Reading books on relationship really helped me get over him..And think he is not that into me with all those behaviors..his words are all so fake.But sometime when his sms comes, i feel that he may somehow wants me back or am i giving false hopes?
Just get myself nice and independent for the time being, if he come back fine if he don't find other better.. That's what I always told myself but I still think of him coming back now and then.
RomanceClass.com AdviceYou have made the right choice.
Give him plenty of room and don't pressure him. Contact him every two weeks just to ask how he is doing. Pretty soon he may grow to enjoy these communications and remember how nice you are.
Your feelings are rather calm, and that is helpful to you and to him.
I hope the best for you!
George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com
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