I'm 13, I want a boyfriend

Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Female
I want to ask this one kid out in my school but, I think he'll think we're too young and say no. What should I do? In other words (he likes me too forgot to say that) How do I get a boyfriend? By the way, I'm 13.

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RomanceClass.com Advice
Most parents don't let their kids date until 15 or 16, so I think the main question to ask yourself is why he has to be your "boyfriend" when you're 13. What will you get out of it? Just the ability to call him your "boyfriend" to your friends? That's a really bad reason to date someone. You should never date someone to show him off. Is it because you don't want him to talk to any other girl? Jealousy and possessiveness are both sure-fire ways to destroy a friendship, never mind a relationship.

Is it because you want to spend time with him? You can do that already - in fact the key to all good boyfriend-girlfriend relationships is to be *best* friends first, before you get into the sexual side of things. And that's really what dating *is* - it is already being best friends, and then agreeing with this one person to get into the physical side of things with each other and not with others.

Hopefully you aren't really contemplating the sexual side of life right now. Hopefully you're not doing this to be able to boast to others that you have a boyfriend. I think you need to really sit down and ask yourself why you ARE doing this. The most important thing that two people can possibly have is the caring, love, friendship and respectg for each other - to truly be best friends. Being best friends doesn't need labels - it doesn't need other people peering in at you - it doesn't need anything but those two people looking into each others' eyes.

Finally, one of the KEY key things in a relationship is to never, never pressure, trick or cajole the other person into doing something they are uncomfortable with. Period. If you have to do any of those things, the relationship is flawed and probably doomed. A relationship is all about two people very willingly and with glad hearts choosing to do something together.

So work on being best friends with this boy. Be there for him, trust him, let him trust you, build that connection. In a few years, when you're ready to get into the more sexual side of life, you two will be perfect best friends and will be great together. But you have to build that best friendship first, and now is the time to do that.

-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com

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