I left him because I have felt unappreciated,unloved, the romance was gone

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
We have been married for 9 years and have two children. I have been seperated from my husband for 1 month now. I left him because I have felt unappreciated,unloved, the romance was gone, etc, even though we are still very much in love, this has gone on for 4 years or so now and I just wanted more, and have confronted him numerous times to please try a lil harder to make this work, now we are both living seperately and he is starting to see other people. I am having such extreme jealousy problems and I dont know how to get past them. I can't imagine him with another woman, everytime I think about him dating somone, making love to her, I just become so enraged to the point where I just want to kill him/her. How dare he treat her with such compassion and do things with her that we had not done in years...I have access to his email, which I read, log in to see his cell phone call records, check his personal mail,I know every call/move he makes, I have spied through his window, listened to his phone conversations while putting my ear to his door, I just can't seem to move on, though I know he has every right to date again, how do I move on? I dont ever want to be replaced, but know what I am feeling is wrong. I dont know how to cope, and we still have intimate relations with one another, I think that may be keeping our love feelings alive as well. I am so tired of crying my eyes out...I feel depressed and lost and I have contemplated getting back together with him just for the simple fact that I can't deal with him being with someone else, like I am almost willing to sacrifice my happiness just so I dont have to imagine him in a new relationship, getting remarried (if it ever comes to that), etc. The thought of him purchasing her gifts, introducing her to his family, him introducing her to our children, everything bothers me so extremely. On the flip side, he does the exact same things to me, he has also spied on me, and feels the exact same rage. Are we crazy? Are these normal feelings after a marital seperation? How do we move on and get past these feelings? Are these feelings really an indicator of our undying love we still have for one another?

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RomanceClass.com Advice
You've described symptoms and behavior on both of your parts that indicate you two still love each other.

See a professional counselor asap with him if possible. There seems to be hope for you two.

The jealousy is normal, you'll have to endure it until this crisis is resolved.
As hard as it may be, you should stop spying on him... you will feel better.

Good luck! George

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com

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