I am scared becuase I dont think I can live without him.
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old FemaleOkay so I have been with this guy for about 7 years I am 21 years old and I have been with him since I was 14. When He turned 18 he went to the army. We stayed together then he got stationed in hawaii. I live in Texas. He comes home every 3 to 4 months. We broke up 2 years ago. But we still talk and I see him everytime he comes home for leave. We hang out in the house and we still have sex. His family thinks that we do not speak ever since the break up so he lies to them about me. We still act like we are together even though we are not. About a month ago I got on his email and saw pictures of a girl alot of pictures of her that she had sent him. He doesnt know that I seen them but ever since then I have been accusing him of seeing other people behind my back without telling me. But he still denies. I caint tell him how I know.I finally just dropped it because I caint admit to him how I know. Anyways. Lately he has been really mean to me. He tells me stuff like we are not together why do I act like we are. And when he gets mad he tells me he hates me and doesnt ever want to talk to me again. And then the next day he is talking about how much he misses me and wishes he was with me and so on.. Its crazy I will cry on the phone when he says mean things to me and he will act as if he does not care. I dont know what to do anymore. Its like he pulls me so close to him and then pushes me away. He turns everything around on me. I could catch him in the wrong and some how it will end up me saying im sorry. He talks to me only when he has time and eveytime I call him he does not answer his phone. Everytime he calls me I answer on the first ring. He tells me to go out and do stuff and stop being at home worried about him. But when I do go out he ends up getting mad and saying stuff like im an alcoholic just becuase I had one drink. I love him and I want to be with him. Lately he has not been calling me everyday like he used to and I have just been feeling depressed. I am scared becuase I dont think I can live without him. He is the only love I have ever known. What should I do? Please help me!
RomanceClass.com AdviceThis is a classic case of "using and abusing."
He has sex with you one day and then the next is is being mean to you and saying he hates you.
I'm sure you don't want to be a doormat-- stepped on and pushed down. Have faith in yourself and dump him. You know it will hurt real bad, but you also know that the hurting will be over sooner that you think. Right now you are hurting every day like someone with a toothache who refuses to go to the dentist. And, this will all hurt much more if you wait until he dumps you.
Be brave and tell him you are not taking it anymore!
Good luck, George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com
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