I found out today he DOES like this other girl who has a boyfriend and they hang out a lot

Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Female
I have written in here before a bunch of times right after me and my ex broke up. Well now it's been almost 6 months since we broke up, since then it has been ups and downs with him (fights, etc).

Well things started to get better again a month or two ago and we have been hanging out a lot, were best friends. We always cuddle, kiss (even in public) and do other stuff that couples do. He has told me that he doesn't like any girls right now and doesn't even care about finding one, he just wants to be alone. And I've said the same thing about guys. The other day when I was over at his house, he almost said "I love you" to me he said "I lo.." then trailed off while he was giving me a hug and just stopped there (we were having a mushy moment). The other day he also made a joke about a guy saying "ooh is that your other boyfriend?" then he's like "wait..." because he (my ex) is not my boyfriend so how could I have another one type thing.

Well I found out today he DOES like this other girl who has a boyfriend and they hang out a lot and he can't stop thinking about her. He wrote this in his online journal, which I told him I don't read. He wrote that he doesn't want "someone" to know about it either (me). I have asked him so many times if he had liked her and he always said no not at all.

So I really can't take this because I don't know what he's doing. I dont want us to get back together right now because there are issues that each of us have that we need to resolve on our own and with eachother first, but I really want us to get back together one day. And the fact that we have this relationship at the moment the way it is, and that neither of us wanted to be with anyone else, I thought that was where it was going in the future.

I know I just need to get him out of my life in order to move on, but I don't know how I can do that. He is my absolute best friend in the world and I don't really have any other best friends. He is who I go to whenever I have a problem or need a shoulder, and I really want his friendship. But I can't take only being his friend and him liking other girls. I don't know what's going to happen to me if he ever does end up with one, it will kill me. And if he likes this girl, what is he doing with me on the side? I don't understand what he is doing keeping me close like this. We've had huge talks before about him lying to me about it and he promised he wouldn't do it again, soo many times, but he does anyway so talking to him about it won't help. Do you think he's hanging on to me until he finds someone better?

I don't know what to do please help!

---

RomanceClass.com Advice
It's bound to happen that one or the other of you will find someone new.

Tell him you read his journal and want to know what's going on. Since you two are best friends, he should have no trouble telling you. If he says he likes another girl and wants to go out with her then you have to decide if you want to be best friends with him.

My advice is to continue being his best friend. Best friends are very hard to find in life and you shouldn't throw that away. Meanwhile you should be looking for another boy yourself.

This won't be easy to do, but seems to be a realistic approach to me.

Good luck! George


-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com

---

Follow @RomanceClass

Tweet

Speak Your Mind - Share your Thoughts on this Question!

All Advice in the category - Breakup Issues

- Browse Answers by Question Category
- Browse Answers by Age Group
- Browse Answers by Date of Response



Please read through the advice on this site before you Submit your Own Question! We have thousands of pages of valuable advice that can immediately help you with your situation.