If I changed for her it would be a step down, she would have to mature to relate to me more

Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Male
I'm 19 and my ex is 17. I just got out of a 2 month relationship with a girl I work with. She made the first move and wanted a long term deal (so did I). She was my first love and my first bad breakup. We were different people with different lifestyles but she tried changing for me and refused to let me change for her. If I changed for her it would be a step down, she would have to mature to relate to me more. I go to college 70 miles away but came home every weekend so as not to suffer from a long term relationship. 2 weeks before the breakup she told me how happy she was that we made it work when everyone of her friends said it wouldn't. I had only about 2 days notice of something being wrong before it happened. She sat me down and said with the pressures of school and family she didn't want a reltionship with anyone at the time. Five days later we saw each other and she came to work with hickies on her neck, refusing to talk to me. Obviously I was lied to, to my knowledge it was the only time she did it, or she may have slipped up during the week and spent some time with somebody. It's been a couple of weeks and she treats me like garbage while I'm just trying to do my job and let her do her's.We must interact at certain points during the day. I could understand the treatment had I messed up the relationship by cheating or abuse, but none of that took place. I never asked her for anything in 2 months. And I've demanded respect one day when her horrible treatment of me left me tears. I've also respected her wishes of avoiding her outside of work and in work when necessary. I want her back for some reason despite all this but I won't try if she keeps up the signs that she wants nothing to do with me. A friend of mine went through almost the same thing and keeps telling me to talk with her and convince her to start all over. He now has a child with the same girl. Is it wise for me to tell her I still have feelings when the time is right and we can talk like adults, or just let her go?

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RomanceClass.com Advice
Seems you have put enough into this relationship.

It's only been two months and she is not acting maturely with you. You might be better off finding a girl at college with whom you could spend more time and who would be more mature.

But, if this is the only girlfriend you've had, it would be understandable if you tried to continue the relationship. However, my advice is to move on before she hurts you more.

Good luck! George

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com

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