do guys really do this (needing space crap) or is there a hidden message I'm missing?

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
First of all I have written here before... my ex just doesn't want a relationship with ANYONE right now. We have actually discussed things alot since then and things are even better now. We actually hang out 4 times a week at least... even on the weekends.(which was a big step I think) He will even give me random calls and texts. Its really strange! I've never been in this situation, so I don't know how to handle all of this... therefore I have been pushing, and that is where I am at now.
Last night we were cuddling on the couch talking about nonsense, laughing about this weekend. (He took me and my best friend out to some bars Saturday night) And I brought up my Christmas party and how I would like for him to go with me. And he said, "Well if you really want me to, I will go." Which really means... Do I REALLY have to? So I said, "No, but I thought we should go to eachother's parties (for work) this year since we didn't get to last year." (we were just friends then) And he says, "I just want to go by myself. I'll probably only go for an hour to get my bonus and drink a beer." Obviously it doesn't sound too fun, so I kinda let it go, but I was still kinda hurt.
This is the problem, I got MAD because of that, and shut down. I mean, he told me the truth and we have talked about seeing other people. Now dinner/dates are out of the question, so things are going wayyy better. I know we have a good chance of getting back together, I just need help on shutting my mouth and accepting things! But I am really scared to get hurt, like I said in my first question. My ex of about 2 1/2 years ago left me for someone else and eventually married and has a daughter with her. I guess looking at it from my point of view, I'm afraid that will happen to me again. BUT these two are very different and the most recent ex - the one I'm dating now - Has told me specifically, "I will not hurt you, I care so much for you, all I need is your trust." Which, because of my past relationship(s) is hard for me. The guy I was with for 2 years constantly cheated on me, this guy would never even think of it. I just need to let go, I know, but its hard. I've made huge improvements since then... I just need to know, do guys really do this (needing space crap) or is there a hidden message I'm missing?



RomanceClass.com Advice
Actually I hear more from guys whose girls want space.

But in your situation, it sounds more promising than others. You two are doing real well in starting to get back together. Yes, you should control your temper as that will only drive him away and make you unhappy.

Trust takes time to build up, especially for someone who has been burnt before. As the old saying goes "times heals everything." It's true.

Best of luck to you! George

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com




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