I still love him, and wish we could be friends but my heart will not allow me

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
I have been broken up with my ex-boyfriend for eight months. Since the break-up he has only called me twice, and the last call was a few days ago. We were together for three years, and we had many problems which mainly was my fault. But, I know it was my fault so I'm not really mad anymore about him leaving. The thing that I'm really mad about is how he has been in a committed relationship with another woman for the last five months. When he does call me he continues to ask me can we be friends, and I continue to tell him no. Eventhough he has forgiven me for the reason we broke up I can't forgive him because my heart is still broken because he has been in a relationship literally since we have been apart. I know people move on but it seems he moved on so quickly and never gave me a second thought like we never existed. Don't get me wrong I still love him, and wish we could be friends but my heart will not allow me to get over the hurt of him choosing another woman so quickly.

My question to you is why do you think he is so concerned with us having a friendship if he is in a new relationship? Should I be his friend or save my heart from anymore pain?

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RomanceClass.com Advice
If my math is correct, he waited three months before starting his new relationship. It doesn't sound like he had her waiting in the wings.

Aren't you doing yourself harm by refusing to be his friend? He probably wants to remain your friend because he likes you and feels bad about splitting up. He may also be having second thoughts about his new g/f and perhaps he is trying to slowly get back closer to you.

My advice is to allow him to be a friend. Refusing a friendship is usually a mistake in our lives. True friends are hard to find.

Good luck! George

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com

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