i just ignored it.. she was just my girlfriends crazy (but beautiful) friend

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
i dont know where to begin except by saying yes, i know what a piece of sh*t i am. i have no idea how to keep this short as you kinda have to know the whole story before deciding jus how big a piece of sh*t i am. I did the worst thing a man could ever do, to somebody that didnt deserve it. and now i dont know what to do. i had been with somebody totally incompatibe but wonderful none the less, for three and a half years. had a baby boy together but he passed away at three months. and that basically dealt the final blow to our relationship. but we stayed together for all the wrong reasons. then last year we found out that we were pregnant again it scared us both to have another baby in a relationship that was obviously dying.but we wanted another one. anyway.. when i met her i was introduced to her friends and family and instantly noticed something "special" about her best friend, i dont mean in a romantic way, there was just something about her... over the next few years it was always there but i just ignored it.. she was just my girlfriends crazy (but beautiful) friend. sometimes she needed a guy to help her move or fix things so she'd call me. after three and a half years it got to be more than that, i started to notice things about her that i didnt before.. and as we got to know eachother better we found we had so much in common it was scary! (we had things in common that nobody would ever believe!) then one night she sent me a text message telling me that she loved me. and it really wasnt much of a surprise to me that i felt the same. but im a smart guy and i thought about what i wanted to do about this for months.. i decided that the health of that baby was most important and that i wont do anything rash until after the baby was born. but time had different ideas.. we broke up when she was 7 months pregnant and i immediately got together with the other. its very hard to write this and convey the feelings i had/have. i thought im a good person, and even i cant believe what a horrible thing i did. i cheated on my girfriend with a friend of hers! but to make matters worse i fell hopelessly in love with her. im 29 and pretty damn good looking if i do say so myself so i have have MANY girlfriends and several long term ones whom i thought i loved. i honestly NEVER EVER felt love like i do for her. anyway we were together for only a couple weeks after that because of the stressful situation we were dealing with and she had people coming into her work and calling her a slut. and she had a hard time with the fact that my ex was going to have my baby and that she would be in our lives as my babys mother forever. and she said that she felt too guilty for what we had done to ever look her in the eyes. so she ended it. i hurt somebody who didnt deserve it, my family hated me, i lost any kind of reputation i had for being a good guy, i gave up my home and most of my possesions to be with her. because ive never loved like that before. i know i probably dont deserve your time but im lost.. its been 7 months since we broke up and 5 months since ive spoken to her. i keep hoping i'll forget about her. but it has become apparent to me that i wont. ive contemplated suicide because it hurts so much to be without her. ive made good with my babys mother and we are friends again, and she has even told me that she wants me to be with the other one. i guess my question is : what do i do?.. i know you probably cant answer that but.. I LOVE HER SO MUCH, im willing to do anything to make it work. but i dont want to be the pathetic ex-boyfriend that cant get over it (oh wait.. too late) i know that im a horrible person for how i got into this, but im having a really really hard time going on without her, even 7 months after.. please help

RomanceClass.com Advice
If you are going to get back with her it will have to be a slow and steady process. You need to convince her it's worth her while to go out with you again.

My advice is to start by calling her once a week just see how she is doing, to let her know you still care, and to maintain contact with her. Don't talk about your relationship. Be cheerful and keep the call to 15 mins. This should not be threatening to her and will give you some contact with her.

If you haven't done so already, you should tell her (but not right away) that the mother of your child said she wanted you to get back together with the woman you are pursuing.

Also, read the following tips about how to get back an ex:
http://www.romanceclass.com/miscr/LoveCat/9

Good luck! George

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com

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