Hi Maggie I am so sorry this has happened to you no woman deserves what you have went through those years and I know you are thinking more like a mother than a abused woman because you do not want your child to grow up with out her father and that is normal but you have to think in the here and now if your husband has done this to you from the beginning he is not going to change some men are just like that and it is sad i too am jealous and at times controlling but never have I considered or thought about hitting my girlfriend and she has done things to really set me off i just go for a ride to cool off and think about how much i love her and if your husband is hitting you it is just a matter of time before he may start hitting the little one and then when you factor in alcohol it doubles the chance of that happening and then you really will not be able to forgive yourself my aunt is in the same boat you are in but no kids are involved her husband constantly talks bad to her calling her names and stuff and accuseing her of things she would never do she loves him unconditionally much like you do your husband and she has kicked him out serveral times only to get the phone calls of I'm sorry i love you so much i promise to change and she always takes him back and he is great for a month or less then he is worse than previous times but you just have to do what is best for you and your little baby right now he may not hurt the little one but who is to say when she gets older he wont and maybe he never will but that is why you have joint custody and if he ever hurts her then you can get full custody and him only supervised custody but no one deserves to be hurt like you have been you deserve happiness just like everyone else does and from the looks of it you want to be happy with him but deep inside you know you never will.... I am not tring to get you to leave him but perhaps seperation is needed and tell him your conditions tell him to get counseling and then both of you get it that way you are not in a room alone with him and you can tell him just how you feel in a safe environment and then after that just date for a while and see if the counseling worked and if he pushes you to move back in together he will show anger and fraustration and you will know then if the counseling worked or not just a idea but i would not go running back into his arms because that is exactly what he is expecting to happen once he is let out instead have seperation papers ready for when he gets out in my state seperation has to last 1 year before it can be dropped i think and in that year let him know what you want to see change.
