Hello lagirl143
I can only guess that, if you are both members of a dating website, then you are probably both a little lonely, and, since you attended the same college and live quite close, it was almost as if you knew each other better than you did.
Emotional and physical 'needs' then seem to have taken over. I think that this is kind of what nature intended, though many people try to regulate this ~ not all!
Since you are someone who
would normally regulate this type of behaviour, yet you allowed it to go ahead anyway, even though you didn't even feel much chemistry at first, you now feel uncomfortable about it ~ empty and negative, and perhaps a little guilty.
I can understand this, but you didn't feel that he was taking advantage of you, or that he disrespected you. Maybe you feel that you lost some of your self-respect? But just think; lots of girls are going much further with men they don't know at all, so it's not as if you did something terrible.
Consider it a learning experience. Because you are lonely, you are vulnerable, and because you are vulnerable, and craving affection, you are able to do things that you would not otherwise do. Remember this in future and be grateful that you did not let things go too far.
As you said, you come from a traditional family and do not usually go so far on a first date, so bear this in mind for the future, so that things do not get out of hand and you do not feel bad about your dates again.
But don't be hard on yourself. You have been busy and lonely. You were involved in some physical intimacy ~ but you only went so far. He didn't hurt you or force you. It's not so bad
You and he may get closer and all may be great; or you may find someone else. I hope that you find your 'Mr Right' very soon! Good luck
