Tales of the Ex @ RomanceClass -
he said that he cannot afford another failed marriage

I met a guy almost 2 years ago online. A few dates later, my aunt called to fix us up. I got along with him right away - he was a lot of fun and so interesting. Our first kiss was terrible, I was nervous and I think he was too. I called him to ask him out again and he was surprised thinking that I wouldn't be interested. but I was! I really really liked him a lot. We dated a bit more and then he went overseas for 10 days. The night before he went away, things were great. I wanted to make love to him and he wanted to wait - wanted it to be special. When he returned from his trip, he barged into my home, all exicted about a new job that he had just signed on for, and he brought me a gift for my birthday. I was so overwhelmed, didn't know where to put myself. Later that evening he professed that he is smitten with me and wanted to go steady. Again, I was so nervous, not having much experience in this area, and I giggled and said "you mean like in Happy Days?" he was a bit taken aback and said, well, yeah...I then told him how much i really really enjoyed being with him but wanted to take things slowly. I think he was hurt and now looking back, I was hurtful. But i wasnt' sure about my feelings for him. they were growing....that is for sure, but it was all so fast. later that weekend, he called a friend of mine, he had only met one, to make a surprise birthday. My friend, not being one of my good friends, called me to tell me. she didn't know what to do or to say. I was a little concerned because i had just asked him to take things slowly and now he wanted to make a surprise. I hadn't introduced him to anyone other than her, yet. but i was planning on doing so....that weekend i had planned to go with him to my very good friend. and after that to my parents. I didn't want my sister to meet him at my surprise party. my sister was going through a rough time with her relatioship at the time and i didn't want to rub my happiness in her face.
the surprise happened and it was a small affair, my friend and her boyfriend, me and my boyfriend. I was also menstruating that weekend. On the monday he called me at work to ask if i wanted to come over after work to hang out until he had to go play indoor soccer, his weekly game. I said of course. I went home first to change and freshen up. I felt gross due to a heavy mentruation, not showering that morning, and wearing the same clothes as the night before when he last saw me. I wanted to freshen up but quickly cuz i knew he had a game. I rushed. I called him from home and he was upset asking me where i was. i said i was on my way. We hung out. I felt gross and very unattractive. He wasn't in such a great mood. His ex called him yelling at him. when he got off the phone, he looked weary. all i could think about was getting home and taking a shower. it was time for him to go to his game and instead of consoling him I pointed to the clock and said 'don't you have to go?' He was very sad. on our way out the door, he looked at me and said "LOOK at me!" He was agressive. and said it again. then as i looked at him, he glared right at me and made me look at him. I turned away, in disgust. He was very unappealing to me at that point. It was a terrible moment. He kissed me good night and we parted. I went home and was shaken up. I was planning our date for Thursday and emailed him. He called and it sounded like he was crying. he left a muffled message asking if we could skip the show and just have dinner. I left a message saying of course. the day of our date, he emailed me and asked to cancel dinner and wanted to talk....he came over and he said that he cannot afford another failed marriage and that this wasn't going to work. But he also said that this was very hard for him to say and that he loves being with me and can talk to me for hours. I didn't get it. Then i asked him how he can go from wanting to go steady to this in such a short time. he said "when i see something that i like, i go after it full throttle." in the past year and a half, we have kept in touch via email. he wouldn't talk to me for a year. Our emails are almost daily and multiple emails in a day. once we had 44 emails in a day. I have very strong feelings for this man. I fell in love with him. I just needed him to be a little more patient. and I needed to be more communicative about my feelings towards him. Recently, he agreed to meet me for coffee. we shall see....









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