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Im crying right now because of it. To you this might not me a sad love story

Im a freshman(15) and hes a Senior(18). Now I didnt like this guy at first because he had p*ssed me off at a school dance. And when he realized that I was mad at him, he kept trying to get me to dance with him and he kept apologizing. But I said no. So he picked me up and carried me to the dance floor and held me in his arms. When the song was over I walked away, but another slow song came on and he grabbed my arm softly and asked me to dance with him again. So I did. This is when I first started to fall in love. Hes tall dark and handsome and im somewhat tall, brunette, and I think im pretty. But the next week I didnt really talk to this boy( I'll call him Kyle ). We would just stare at eachother in the few classes we had together. I had no idea that he liked me because I never talked to him. Then one day during volleyball practice he was sitting in a chair watchin me, i figured...hes just watching, no big deal. But my friend called me over to her and told me that Kyle had told her boyfriend that he REALLY liked me. and so I talked to her boyfriend and it turned out that Kyle had told him that he had liked me since the day he saw me. Kyle and I started to hang out alot of this. We were inserperable. Then one night when he was taking me home he asked me to go to homecoming with him and i happily excepted. A few weeks later he asked me to be his girlfriend. I happily excepted that Too!! I liked him more than anyone i had ever met. He made me feel so special. He told me I was beautiful. and we always talked and hung out. I was really starting to fall in love with him. I always talked about him to my friends, and he always talked about me to my friends and his friends. He told them i was the most beautful thing he had ever seen and he would never leave me. I believed it. We got very very close. When I finally told him that I loved him, he told me he loved me too more than anything. And then he went to my friend and told her this "OMG! She just told me she loved me! I cant believe it. I love her sooo much too!" This made me cry a little. After we had been dating for 6 months he told my friends that once I graduated he was going to ask me to move in with him and hopefully be together forever. EVERYONE thought that we were the perfect couple. Basically all of my first experiences happend with him. I loved him so much. It made my heart melt when we would be laying on his couch watchin a movie and he would kiss me on the cheek and look me deep in the eyes and say I Love You! After 7 months of dating....I was over at a friends house for a party. I called him and told him to come over and he said he would after he left his brothers house. It got really late so I was gonna call him and tell him just to forget about it cuz I was gonna go home. But he didnt answer his phone, I tried a couple more times and gave up. Then my friend called....I didnt tell her to, i didnt even know she was doing it. But he didnt answer her calls either. But Kyles cousin happened to be at this party and so he tried to call him. And amazingly Kyle answered. His cousin asked him where he was and all he said was NoWhere Near Clarence!!(thats were we were at)and we could hear girls in the background. I immediatly started crying. I thought for sure he was cheating on me. But it turns out he was with his brother and sister-in-law in another town, at a girls house who happend to like Kyle. I was pissed. I was gonna break up with him because he had been drinking and I somehow felt that he probably did something with the girl. But I wasnt gonna break up with him until i talked to him about it and go this side of the story. but when i tried to talk to him he would just ignore me, and act as if this whole this was my fault. He acted so weird around me. I tried to bring myself to end the relationship but I couldnt because I loved him too much. I just had a feeling he was gonna end it though. I asked him what was wrong and he would say nothing. I asked his friends and they said that it wasnt there buisness to tell me, so i knew something was up. One night at a basketball game I asked him if he still wanted to date and to be honest about it and he looked me in the eyes and said Yes! I do! But that same night he called me and broke up with me. He told me we might get back together if we could still be friends for the period we were broken up. He told me that he just didnt know if he loved me as much as he said he did. I CRIED AND CRIED. I couldnt even go to school the next day. I would talk to him in the hallways and hed just say short things back like. Hi, fine, ok, sure, bye. It made me sad. I found out that supposidly the reason he broke up with me was because I flirted with guys in front of him all the time. But thats bull s***. I never did. and thats NOT the reason why we broke up.I know its not, but we argued and argued. And the day I found out that he was dating that girl that I thought he had cheated on me with I about killed myself. I mean he started dating her about 2 months after we broke up and I hadnt even considered dating anyone. Me and him grew close again and we talked a bit and he told me he still had feelings for me and he would call me and tell me how he always thinks of me when he listens to the cd i burned for him. He always starts crying when he tells me he misses me. I cry too. He broke up with this girl and I was hoping that maybe something would work out again. I still loved him even after he had been such an asshole me to after we broke up and then we would change and be nice to me. But OHHHH how i loved him, I still do. But now hes sorta of seeing this girl in his grade. I really dislike her. And im guessing its only b/c of him. I miss him so much. I dont know what to do. We are gonna hang out this weekend and im hoping something works out between us.
I Love him, i love him more than I love myself. Id do anything. Even though hes mean to me at times it kills me to see him with another girl, it kills me to talk to him and to look at him. I just want to hold him tight and kiss him softly and tell him how much I love him. Im not sure if that can ever happen again but im not gonna give up. Im afraid to date other people because of getting hurt, or because of the fact that i know it wouldnt be fair to that person who cares about me and Im still in love with someone else. I think about Kyle non stop, Im crying right now because of it. To you this might not me a sad love story, It might just annoy the hell out of you. But to me its the saddest thing ive ever read, to be in love with someone so deeply and have it seem as though that person didnt miss you after all of that. Im gonna stop rantin and ravin and let you get back on with your life. But it just made me feel alot better to get that off of my chest. Thanx for reading thing.
*Me*






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