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Learning from experience

Some said that we learn from our experience... but i guess i haven't learned anything yet.. i've been doing the same stupid thing in my life.. MAKING THE FIRST MOVE over the guy...

first attempt? it was humiliating... i told him through sms how much i liked him, just to find out that he just started going out with one of my friend... lucky girl(i thought for a while).. but after a year, they broke up...

the second one? pathetic... this guy has an identity crisis (not sure whether he's more attractive to the same sex or not).. but since i liked him a lot, i did everything i could to save him from his dilemma.. but guess what, he turned me down... he never spoke w/ me for several months... i cried.. so hard.. and thank god eventually i recovered...

but it didn't ended up there.. after two years(this long?!?!), i got an sms from him... telling me that he's sorry for everything he had done to me.. he just realized that he liked/loved me as well and was asking for a second chance... born to have a soft-heart.. i did give him a chance... but as time passes by (until now) he still find it hard to tell me(face to face) his feelings for me... gosh! is it really that hard???

third time? did the same thing.. but this time, guy is younger than me... we had a "SPARK"... but the problem is.. at that time, he was committed (Girlfriend) to a girl... we had some sweet moments... but since he's committed it's hard for us to go beyond our relationship (never thought we had one)... moving forward... i just found out his gf broke up with him! it should be a good news for both of us.. but goodness!!! i don't know what's holding him back... i asked him once... he said he's not sure.. nor ready yet... "WHAT THE?!?!?!".....

now here's the funny part... the 2nd guy and the latest one are actually my colleagues in the choir... it just came to my knowledge that the 2nd guy was jealous to the 3rd one... but, he didn't do anything...

the situation now? the 2nd one is still loving me in silence... torturing his self every single day...

the 3rd one? still thinking.. evaluating when he would be ready...

and for me... still loveless...... I'm just STUPID TIRED!!!!!!






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