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I swore to myself I wouldn't put my whole heart into this

ok well i was with this guy for a while and i have gotten my heart broken so many times before i swore to myself i wouldnt put my whole heart into this one but he just took my heart. he was so perfect and everyone thought we were too cause we just were lol. we were always together maddly in love we even made love it was beautiful and like i have never felt that way before. and i have been in alot of realtionships. and after a while i was getting a lil jealous and he was thinking he didnt kno what he wanted and that he was a bad boyfriend and then we started to fight. and i was dumb as he was too. and he broke up with me. i was heart broken and i have Never been this heart broken before. but its wierd cause i failed to inform u was we are exactly alike its scary we would talk about it all the time... and after it was over it kinda didnt feel that way cause we still humg out but it was. and usually once i am broken up with a guy im over him like real fast and i just say whatever. and i was even this way once before when i was with a guy for almost two years, my first taste of love. so it just hurts soooooo much i cant eat i lost 20 lbs in three days but now i force myself to eat and i put on a show [he does too] that everything is fine but when we talk and hangout we both sense the emptiness between us. we are suppose to be together but he is dumb. and it hurts soooooo much i cant even describe it. i have even changes things about me to get over him, i listen to diff type of music i hang out with different group of friends, i piered my tongue, i changes my room, i change the way i dress and eat, i picked up different habits i have changed completely but nothing changed with him the feelings all still there i have even tried talking to different guys but no. after all this time it still feels right and i cant get over him. people tell me its in my head but its not or i am tooo young to find love and im not it happens. i honestly believe this is one of those rare occasions that the high school sweethearts are together for a long time, we just have to face our fears... because i am afraid of us never being together and losing him forever and he is afraid im going to be like his ex which hert him really bad and im not... i dunt kno what to do ne more!! but my heart wheaps as does my soul.


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