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learning to let go is the hardest ever thing I did in my whole life

Call it puppy love, it all started out in my tenth grade. He was a newcomer in our school and a total stranger to our class but he is confident enough to for us to notice him. I am the first to be close to him, aside from his long time friend that is also a classmate of ours. Days passed as we exchanged thoughts and stories of experiences we had in our lives. He is not that hard to be with and he is really fun to be around, and no wonder why he captured every girl's attention, everyone wanted to be a friend of him.
But then, I promised myself that I should get rid of him because of the fact that he was already having a romantic against-all-odds relationship with my rival, and I should have known my limitations, I told myself that I just adore him for being nice and cool and caring and nothing beyond friendship will I be capable of giving him. But my heart just kept contradicting to what my mind wanted to happen. My heart kept telling me that if I chose him over the opportunity of joining the cadet/cadetís training, then I probably be the one beside him right now. but I guess we were too young the time he made me feel how special I am to his life and then I chose the training, but no regrets for that because it was worth it and fun in spite of the physical suffering I had in there because he was my inspiration and the friendship and support we had before this. I told myself that after my training and he's still there for me waiting, then Iíll end up with him. But he did not wait, he falls for someone, and that made me realize he is not the one for me. It really did hurt me so bad but I had to go on with my life, with them I see everyday, showing off to everybody their strong affection for each other. Sometimes I overreact, but thanks to my friends and classmates who knows our story that I am still in control. Sometimes I think if it is his way of making me jealous, I admit sometimes I really feel envious but I had nothing to do but to being badly hurt. I had other flings and I knew I made him a little jealous because of how he acts. Well, call it quits.
Less than two weeks before the prom, our friends kept teasing him to be my partner but I refused because I know that that would be their quarrel of his girl. Teasers stopped but started a new bully, that he should be offering me the most romantic dance for that night. I turned obviously red and I knew he recognized it but to my surprise, he smilingly said, of course he will. My heart jumped and since then, I couldnít wait for more till the ball.
I prepared very well for that night, partly because of him. I rode with a friendís car to go there and right after arriving, I looked for him and he is with his girl. I knew he noticed me like the others but he had no comment just like the way he does since he and his girl was on. The night went on. I was roaming around having picture taking with my friends, ignoring the silly stupid emcees and we just got interested when they finally announced that the dance floor is already ours. We all went wild dancing till it hurts and rested for awhile. Some songs after, the bands were given a chance to prove themselves. The very first note the rhythm guitar sounded of was the very first note of a song which extremely remind everyone the story of me and him and everything that went in our love triangle. I was shocked of course when a voice coming from behind suddenly asked me if I wanted to dance, then I just found himself with him in the dance floor, gently swaying. well, at first, he just told stories and everything and asking some FYIís of my life but I didnít answer even a sigh. I just stared lostly in his eyes, trying to figure out if he really is sincere in what we are doing right that very moment of our lives. he suddenly stopped talking, asked me if im alright, then I started singing our song. we had a duet, and when its over, everything is over also. while we danced, thoughts overflowed in my mind and Iíve come to realize that I should let go of him, that I should end the illusion of the two of us, that I should end up everything between us. learning to let go is the hardest ever thing I did in my whole life. Right now, he is just a memory. Another story that did not end up in they lived happily ever after.


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