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I am Oriental. My family are very very traditional

This is a sad romeo juliet type love story.
When i was doing my master's i was working part time in a company which is where i met my Ex. I didn't notice him until i had broken up with the boyfriend at the time and got to know him during my healing process because we would spend alot of time together and he would sometimes be the person i would talk to. We spent more and more time together making more and more effort to spend time together after work. I started to fall for him and him too. We got on like a house on fire and we were just amazing together. No-one existed around us when we were together. Our first kiss was amazing and everything just went uphill from then. During my final months of my masters course when i was writing my dissertation he offered to let me stay at his flat to work in a quiet place and took AMAZING care of me even though we'd only been together for a few months. Then the next few months were even more amazing. He was the most wonderful boyfriend and man i had ever met. He made me feel beautiful inside and out. Isn't that what every woman wants? Anyway his grandfather was ill for some time and passed away one day. I wanted to spend more time with him but all this time my family were not aware i had been seeing this guy who was first of all, 9 years older and English. I am Oriental. My family are very very traditional and are quite well respected in our society so to be with someone English would bring shame to the family. I told my mum about him who i had kept secret for the 7 months i was with him. Telling her i wanted to be with this guy and he needed me. She went beserk and basically took me back to my homeland. My family went crazy and told me i was mad, how could i do this to the family etc etc..My parents stole passport and wouldn't let me come back to England. I was in my homeland for 3 months before i could convince them to send me back to England where i promised them i would split up with him and never see him again. Of course i didn't.I had tried to talk to them about how wonderful this guy was and why they were being so backward and not accept that people in this day and age DO date people from other cultures. That i wasn't bothered he hadn't been to university (i had and for me to be with someone with a less privileged education was just not possible) throughout all this time he stuck by me through thick and thin and supported me, worried about me and said he would never leave me even though my mum met him and told him he wasn't good enough for me and that she would never allow me to be with him. He even considered moving to my homecountry and leave his life in England if it had to be. He was my life and soul at the time. To cut this story short. I carried on seeing him back in England behind my parent's and family's back. things were even stronger and more beautiful. Then things started to crumble bit by bit because i was living my life in deceit. It started to wear me down. I was in stress. I was hiding this secret life from everymember of my family. It was difficult. My parents and family placed incredible guilt on me when they took me back home. they made me feel awful and guilty for everything. I was the bad one for dating and wanting to spend my life with an Englishguy. I started to get angry at my boyfriend for little things when all he did was love me. I pushed him away and i split up with him telling him that i could never be with him because of my family. It was the most difficult decision i had ever made in my life. I was hreatbroken at the time but because i was doing another course at uni, i had no time and space mentally to realise what i had done until recently when i finished my course. I wanted to see him and meet him. I missed him crazy. I pushed him away so hard that he had met someone. He's been seeing this girl for a couple of months now and told me he never wanted to hurt me and he's so sorry to hurt me this way. I thought i made the right deciison by breaking up with him - to please my family and to also relieve him of all the stress and pain i put him through being with me. He deserved better. He was a wonderful person he didn't deserve to be living a secret life with me. I realise that i was the one to break it up after two amazing years and told him we could never be together but i still love him and i KNOW i will never ever meet anyone like him. He was EVERYTHING i wanted in a guy and treated me the way i only thought happened in fairytales. How can life be so unfair? I have been on dates with a guy but nothing ever developed because he was not my ex. Constantly i was being reminded of how he was not my ex and how i could let someone who was just perfect for me go...I should be happy for the fact that he has moved on. He says he still cares for me and will always care for me. I think i will be happy to just have loved and lost then to have never loved. I will always love him and he will always have me and i would be happy to live single for the rest of my life knowing that i had the most beautiful life with him. Hopefully in my next life - in his next life - we could be happier and be accepted, do the things we couldn't do in this lifetime.


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