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I've been heart broken once. I hope that this time, it won't be broken again.
One day at our school dance, I gave my best friend a friendly hug. He got so mad. He yelled that he wasn't my friend anymore and that he hated me. I spent the rest of the dance on hands and knees, begging for him to accept my apoligy. He told me he'd think about it.
Over the weekend, I kept thinking and worrying about what he would say to me on Monday. But unknown to me, mixed in with those feelings of fear and depression, was a slight feeling of love for him. And more than the love you'd feel for someone who was "just a friend."
A week later, that small feeling had grown until it was painfully obvious. I tried to convince myself it wasn't true, but I knew I was only lieing to myself. Exactly two weeks later, I shoved a note into his hand telling him how I felt, and ran away. The next day, I was so worried about what would happen, for the last time I'd told a guy how I felt about them, it was two years ago and they ended up hating me. To this day, he can't resist spitting an insult at me. But when he came up to me, he told me he was ok with it. But he didn't feel the same, and he just wanted to be friends.
I'm writing this the day after he told me he just wanted to be friends. I keep hoping, that somehow, someway, I'll be able to win his affections. But if we've been friends since 4th grade, wouldn't his affections already be mine, if they ever were going to be? I've been heart broken once. I hope that this time, it won't be broken again.
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