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But I never told him about my feelings for him


My story began when I was 16 during my college when I went to my best friendís birthday. He introduced me to his other friends and cousins. One of his cousin catches my eye but I did not paid him much attention thinking that he already has special someone. Then after a month, I slept over with my best friendís house, it was summer vacation so weíve spent the whole night talking bout girl stuffs including guys. I confessed to her that I like the one she introduced to me during her birthday but I didnít remember his name so I describe him to her. She was so surprised; she told me that it was her cousin James, she said he also like me even before her birthday, he usually sees me whenever I go to my best friendís house, but thought that I might not like him so he looked for another girl and became his girlfriend. I was disappointed but kept falling in love with him as time passes. Whenever there were chances for us to be together like outing, gimmicks and other stuffs, he usually shows his sweetness and thoughtfulness with me that keeps me fell in love with him more deeply. But I never told him about my feelings for him. I kept waiting for him to confess to me that he also likes me but years passed and nothing happened.

Then one day, I realized I have to forget him and move on so I started dating someone else but that someone just left me without saying any word. I was so hurt, I liked him but I didnít know if it was really love maybe I was just hurt just because of ego. There were many guys who wanted to be with me and I chose him, but he just left me without saying goodbye or giving me any reason why, we just lost our communications. Then Paul came, he was James friend. I already knew even before that he already has feelings for me but I kept on ignoring him maybe because of James. At that time I was so depressed of what happened between me and my boyfriend and Paul was there for me, lifting me up and giving me encouragements. When Paul confessed his feelings and wanted me to be his girl I said yes without thinking any consequences of my action. I was pre-occupied with revenge to my ex-boyfriend of what he has done to me. I said to myself, heís a perfect guy, intelligent, good looking and can be trusted and love can be learned.

Times passed and I realized I was still in love with James but everything has changed. We were like strangers, he started avoiding me when Paul and I got together. When I told my best friend about it, she said James was very sad when he found out that Paul and I were already together. I was full of regret, if I didnít dated Paul then maybe heíll confess his feelings. But it was already late, I have to face the consequences of my action. I did my best to love Paul and forget everything about James.

Iíve graduated college and had a good job. Paul and I were still together. He was older than me so he already has a good career even before I finished my college. Iíve already learned to love him but I know in my heart that James still has a place inside my heart. We planned to get married, have kids, our dream house and everything about our future together. I kept convincing myself that he was the right man for me.

Then later on, we kept on fighting over small things seriously. He somewhat changed, he easily got mad on small matters. He has changed. Then one day, he confessed to me that he got another girl pregnant. That he has to marry her for the sake of the child. He said I was the one he truly loves but he has no choice but to marry her. I was so hurt but I still gave him another chance. Then when we met the next day, he told me that it will be better if we would just be best of friends. I was so hurt, Iíve sacrificed James for him then he would just tell me to be just friends?? Then I decided not to communicate with him anymore. I did not answer his phone calls and his texts. Then one day, he told me that the girl was not really pregnant, that it was just a false alarm. Then he asked for another chance, so I gave him another chance. He asked me to be friends with the girl; she calls me sometimes and texting each other often. Then one day, something in him has changed again, the girl doesnít even texting me and calling me like before. Only to found out that they were still seeing each other, my friend told me about it. Then I broke up with him. Then my friend told me they were already planning to get married. I was so hurt, so I mailed him that I was happy for him and hoping that heíll be happy on his decision. Then we met but he assured me that my friend was the one lying and I believed him. We changed our cellphone numbers; he even surrendered his sim card to me. Everything got smooth in our relationship since then but one day the girl was calling me in my other number. She told me that what my friend was telling was true and that he just left her without explaining anything. But I did not believed her thinking that she was just lying. My whole trust was with Paul. Paul told me not to communicate with her anymore but I kept my communication with her without telling Paul about it.

Then one day, the girl told me that Paul was calling her and texting her. She said Paul was planning to go back to her but I was not convinced thinking that she was just lying until she gave me the number that was calling her, it was Paulís cellphone number. I was so hurt and said to myself that it was already final. Then I confronted Paul about it, at first he was denying it but when I showed him my conversation with the girl, he confessed to me everything. That it was true and everything my friend told me about them in our last break up was all true. He cried and begged me for another chance but I did not say anything, I just left. He kept on calling and texting but I never answered back. I was so hurt.

Then I decided to work in

since Iím a nurse and since I have already given a visa to work there. Iíve spent most of my time there working. Iíve earned a lot by working there; Iíve bought a house there and in the

, bought land and properties. Iíve got everything I wanted except a loved one. It was true that time heals all wounds; I just woke up one morning that Iím already over on all the pains in my past. I was just happy on where I was and what I was at that time. Happy being single, do whatever I want, go wherever I go, buy whatever I want. Though sometimes I felt envious of my friends who already has their families of their own, especially my bestfriend, she has a very loving husband and 2 beautiful kids. They have families waiting for them when they got home from work, have families to spend their weekends and during holidays. Most of my friends were already married and has families of their own. Even if there were a lot of guys courting me I still feel that I havenít met the right one, I guess that was the reason why I was still single.

Then one day, my bestfriend asked me to befriend someone, she said it was his cousin Mark, who just moved in the same city where I was working and has no friends yet in that place. She asked me if I could befriend him since she lives in another city. I usually donít text, receive calls from someone I donít know. But it was my bestfriend who were asking for a favor so I gave it a chance. Mark and I always talks on the phone, orienting him about the city, we talk most of the time, texting, emailing, he was funny, sweet, thoughtful and caring. I loved talking with him, I feel at ease talking with him even if I still havenít even seen him. I guess I was already falling for him. I was so weird, falling for someone I havenít even met yet. Then I decided to meet him in person. When I arrived in our meeting place, I saw James there holding a bouquet of roses in one of the benches there. I smiled at him; he asked me what I was doing there. I said I was waiting for a friend. He said he was also waiting for someone. It was almost 5 years since I left the

and the day I left was the day of his marriage with his fiancťe. So I was thinking maybe it was his wife he was waiting for. So I decided to wait in another bench to avoid any problem regarding his wife. Then after a minute he approached me and smiled shyly and reached me the bouquet of roses. He said it was me he was waiting for, and that it was him I was also waiting for. He said heís Mark, and then I remembered his full name, it was Mark. I asked him what happened on his marriage. He told me that when he found out what happened between me and Paul, he cancelled his wedding. And he followed me at the airport on the day of my flight but I was already inside the airport. He said he tried to call me but he couldnít contact me. That he tried everything just to follow me in

. He apologized that it took almost five years for him to follow. He said he love me so much and that he tried everything just to forget me especially when Paul and I got together but he couldnít, it even got stronger everyday.

Now, we are happily married and blessed with twins.

Wondering what happened with Paul... He married the girl when he found out that James and I got married. He doesnít have any kids. But too bad his annulment is in process, he filed it when he found out that his wife had an abortion four times with different guys before theyíve got together.


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