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No one could love you as much as I do

DAY
It was Monday 11, 2006. I woke up and got ready to go on a trip. I remembered that I had to take my laptop to the trip. Before I put my laptop in the bag I checked my e-mail. There were three letters from my best friend. I read all of them and I wrote back. In my letters I asked her how she was doing and asked her if she had any brothers. Then I checked My Space. There were some messages from my friends and I saw that my best friend was online. I started sending her messages and she wrote back. After that I told her to get on messenger so we can instant message. We started chatting. I asked her if she had a boyfriend, but she did not answer my question. I asked her the same question one more time and she said �yes�. After that she sent me his picture. I got angry because I loved that girl and I didn�t want anyone to take her away from me. After that when she noticed that I got mad she sent me a picture of herself. She asked me if I liked the picture. I told her that she looked really beautiful on the picture and that I liked it. After that she asked me if I had a girlfriend. I told her that I never had a girlfriend before and I don�t have one right now.

This is the first time I fell in love with a girl. I really loved her but I never talked to her because I didn�t know what to say. I was in some words �shy�. She always looked at me and wanted to talk to me. I want to talk to her and show her the feelings I have but I was shy. It was very nice day because it was her birthday. I hadn�t any idea about that. Every one said �happy birthday� to her. I had a sheet of paper in my pocket and wrote her �Happy birthday�. Then she wrote back �Thanks dear for telling me happy birthday and you are so cute� The next letter was about her life when she was 15. Then she gave me letter every single day and I wrote her answers. One day she wrote me letter and I read that wanted to write answer to her letter. It was 5th period when I was going to Mr. White�s class I wanted to give her my letter but she was sleeping on her friend�s shoulder. I said �hey could you get my letter� but she did not pay me attention and her friend said put it in her hood and I left the letter. The next period she was with the letter in her hand but I did not get that letter because if she doesn�t want to talk with me I can�t talk to her. I got my stuff and started to walk, she was behind me and called �Anwar get the letter� but I did not get that because I was very mad. After that I felt sorry because I wanted to give her letter. And I stopped talking to her. After that she was very happy every day when she sees someone from her classmates she started to hug with them but I didn�t care about that. My wish was to make her happy, I did not say anything to her but I was crazy at home because I could not make her happy. She was my only special someone in this world, my first and last love. My hope was to be friends with her. I always asked to god to make our friendship strong and god helped us with that problem. I was always sad at home, my mom said son �what is wrong with you� I said nothing just have little headache that is all. And she said �Do you have headache always then why are you crying� I said �I am very lazy boy all my homework are not done correctly�. Of course I lied to her again. My problem was at school with my best friend she was mad at. I was with all my Turkish friends and they were eating but I wasn�t. I went to sleep and after I woke up and one of my friend said hey what is wrong with you started to joke but I was angry I said �Stop, do not joke with me this time� But he did not stop. I said again �Hey It is my last warning if you talk to me again I am going to kick you ass� And he cussed at me. I did not want to hit him but he got on my nerves, then he pushed me and I kick his face it started to bleed. I thought that he is dead but he wasn�t, I said sorry to him. But he did not listen to me and started yelling at me. I got the car with my brother and drove to our home. One day I was absent from school because I was too mad of that. He was my friend how I could do that, it was my first time to take out someone�s blood. Thursday I came to school and principle said �Anwar what was wrong with you yesterday� I did not answer that because it was my own business and I try to keep it a secret from everyone. But it did not work and he said �Go home and never come this school it is very dangerous to kick someone. I said �Yes that was my bad� And went to home, my mom was sitting in front of door and said �what happened honey� I said � Mom, nothing I am just going to stay at home for two days�. And we ate lunch at home and my mom said you have any kind problems? At school you were never were like that before. I said �everything is okay, I am fine� Again I lied to my mom. But my problem was my love. I could not forget her beautiful face, every time I closed my eyes she was in front of me. It was Monday the phone started to ring and I pick that up that was principle he said that I can come to school. I came to school and saw him again he said �Anwar listen if you fight one more time we are going to take out you from this school. �Agree� I said.
It was second period I saw my friend�s face she was so beautiful that time and was looking at me. I wanted to hug her but I could not because I am not very well to her.
Now I am in Colorado sitting with my all friends around the same table. They are eating but I am not, they are laughing but I am not, they are happy but I am not, and never will be happy until she forgives me. I am not in love with her but try to be her best friend. I am very mad at myself. Why did I come to this school? I don�t think that I am very good guy, but I try to be nice. I am very bad and unlucky boy, no one wants to be friends with me. Every one has friends. I promise this life is going to be good. I have a friend; she doesn�t know her love and can�t choose one. She is very confused with that problem. You do not know who is your love and can�t choose. She is trying to love everyone one but it is impossible, and she want everyone to hug, and kiss. Look my feeling is very much for you I never forget you, and I love you as much as this life. Think and remember about everyday then you will know who stated to talk first. But I did not start, I give you letter when your birthday I just felt sorry to you because everyone said that you love me and I want to help to you. I can live without girl and I lived. But do not forget �No one could love you as much as I do�. My love was very true, and I will be. I still love you I never forget you.








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