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you're hiding under the black cloak

I was the type that didn't pay much attention to love or anything. I wasn't ready for it. I didn't want to have anything to do with it. All I was interested in was dating and having a good time, y'know..hangin out an' all.
Until I met this one guy over the internet. Big mistake but I didn't think so at the time. I was really young though, and he was too old for me. Way too old. Another big mistake. Huge gap in the age difference there.
We talked over the phone...we IM'ed each other we sent pictures. He's the one who started the "I love you"'s and all that. I was a little scared to even just say the words at first but I got used to it. Puppy love. The one thing I hate. It's something you get mixed up in and it's hard to pay attention to anything else when you've fallen into the trance. You don't think about what's truly going on because you're hiding under the black cloak.
Anyway, he had problems of his own and I was supposedly a really good talker and listener. He liked the way I talked and gave him advice about his problems which really helped. Until one day he called me up and gave me an ultimatem(sp) (I hate those)
My religion...or him. I'm a dedicated Catholic and I was really young. Hadn't even had my first kiss yet. And he was talking about this so called love.
I truly believed he loved me though. He just had a confused mind at the time.
We stopped contacting each other all together. It was too much for me. To this day I've thought about calling him to apologize for leaving him. To apologize for abandoning him. But I know that's just him trying to make me pity him.
It might have been true love for him. But it was pressure for me. Used.
Don't go into a relationship pushed on by pressure from anyone else and especially not that person...It's not healthy.


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