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i dont want to be married to someone who dont love me

well this one is really a long story!! long sad story in fact.... when i was grade 6 (now im 21) i have a huge crush for my next door neighbor, his 13 years older than me so by that time that i was in elementary he was working already.. he had a 7 year relationship with his gf but broke up when i was 15 years old. then he committed suicide. her mom asked my mom a favor of inviting this guy in our house every weekend just for him to have someone to talk to. we became close and started dating when i was 17.... i'm so happy that time coz its a dream came true!!! he drive me to my university everyday and fetch at night to drive back home!! and then on weekends he was in my parents house just hanging out!! ..... i have the feeling that he was in rebound that time that is why he courted me. but i became selfish and i just consider my own happiness. last few ,months i finish my bachelors degree... but at the same time i finish the 3 years relationship with him.... that was 4 months ago and i still cry at night on my sleep... i set him free because i know deep in his heart he does'nt love me as gf.. maybe as a younger sister but never like a lover... im sorry that it was late for me to realized everything... in my heart i know that there would be no other guy... that his the only one i would love until i leave this world... i miss everything that we do together!! the happiness he brought to my life... i hope and i pray that on our second life i'll be his only love.... i hope that he would find someone that will love him more than i love him. i wish that he would be happy in his entire life. and i hope he understand the big decision i made for our relationship. i dont want to be married to someone who dont love me. i dont want to wake up in the morning seeing his face without emotions of love towards me...... i wish god will take away all the pain im feeling now. i love him more than he'll ever know..... did i do the right thing???


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