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deep down its killing

The guy is an old friend from high school. I hadnt seen him for 6 odd years because i moved schools and now were in contact again. I dont see him much as he has his life and i have mine. Everytime i talk to him i never know what my feelings are for him.. but i no i care about him and he's more than a friend to me. He's liked me a few occassions he's told me, and i was a jerk and just said you can do better, i only wanna be friends. my best mate im not sure she likes him or thinks he's right for me. I think if i see him again im just gonna wanna kiss him and maybe so on. I really wanted the chance to love someone and be loved back just to see what it feels like. Because i get so lonely sometimes but i put on a gd front but deep down its killing me and i just wish someone was there and i wish that someone was him, but i could never tell him this!






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