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I live with my boyfriend and we have a 2 year old son. My boyfriend's name is John. We've been together for almost seven years. Some people say that when you get to this stage, both of you are inseparable. I think so too. John's my lover, my bestfriend, my brother, my dad... I love him and the thought of meeting anyone else never crossed my mind. We have plans of having a big wedding someday.

One day at work, i met a new guy, Mark. He was the total opposite of John. It was love at first sight. I had never felt like this before. Even with John. I never believed in love at first sight until now... Eventually he courted me and I told him my very complicated feeings and life. He said it was fine. So from that day we went out together. I thought that this was just a phase in my life that yearns for something new. But as days passed we both realized that we really do love each other. It breaks my heart everytime I went home to John. I felt like I'm cheating on Mark. Which is the other way around. The love I felt for John is just I finally decided to break up with him. John begged me not to leave him and that was when I realized how much he loves me. It breaks my heart to see him like that.

I still live with John and still kept my relationship with mark. I know I'm not being fair to both of them. John knows that my love for him is not the same as before.. And I am sure he thinks I had met someone else... though I always deny it when asked. I am staying with him for the sake of my son. Mark is being patient with me and giving me time to think it through...

I know I am being selfish and unfair to both of them. I just don't know what to do.


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