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Never knowing the truth

I wish we could get over the awkwardness. I wish you would talk to me. I want to talk to you so much, but there seems to be this impenetrable wall between us. Every time I see you now I want to talk about what happened between us. I want there be a love story to be written about us. It hurt knowing you chose another man over me. It hurt when everyone was talking about you and I. It hurt when I heard others make fun of you. It hurt most of all to know you were out there in pain and I could not do anything about it. It still hurts everyday seeing you and wondering what's happening in your life? Seeing you sitting by yourself the other day eating lunch I wondered if I could talk to you. I want to talk about everything, but where do I begin? I don't even know if you care about me or want me in your life. You are everything I have ever wanted in a woman. I don't want you to be hurt anymore. I don't want you to be hurt by him anymore. I don't want anything between us to be a comedy for others to enjoy. I want to enjoy you. I want to enjoy us. I want the bad memories to go away. I want to make new ones with you. Where do you stand? Do you love me and just don't know how to say it? Do want me to forever stay at arms reach, never close, close to your heart? If you don't tell me, what it is you want and need from me all I can do is to stay away from you. To completely distance myself as I've done. You wrote the letter. I didn't believe it. I still don't believe it, but if you never tell me the truth, what am I suppose to do? I don't won't you to go back to him. I don't want you to repeat your mistakes. I want you to move forward. I want you to be truly loved for who you are. What I really want is the love between us to grow into something bigger than both of us. Approach me, talk to me, whatever you have to do to let me know the truth, do it! I don't want to be forever lost wondering about us and never knowing the truth.


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