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he turned my world upside down

At first, I just liked him as a friend because he was really nice. Then, one day while we were talking about this personal idea of his, he, out of the blue, proposed to me! He said he wanted to marry me. He asked me if I also want to marry him. I didn't know how to reply to that kind of Proposal. For pete's sake! It was a marriage proposal. Something I wasn't ready for. The morning after, I was so tense. It felt like there were butterflies in my stomach. I told my friend about it. then she told me, "you're in love!" Imagine my surprise when she said that. I denied that, of course. How could I be in love with him???? That's not just possible. Days passed, I felt that I waas really learning to like him... I was trying to cease myself from totally falling for him because everything between us was so complicated. We can't be together. That is the problem. We can't. Aside from the fact that he's living in another country, there's also a big reason why it can't be the two of us. It is too complicated. I sometimes wanna hate him for coming into my life. My life used to be so organised. I was Ok before I met him. My life wasn't totally fun but at least I was getting by just fine. When he came, he turned my world upside down. It never fails to disappoint me, when he's not "around"... but when he is, I'm always tense. He said he's inlove with me, but I can't see any effort from him. So I'm thinking maybe they were really just words. Perhaps, he's not serious. Per chance, that's all there is to it. I should stop this before it's too late.


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