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Visitor's Question:
My girlfriend and I were together for almost 5 years and were very very close. She had a lot of problems going on in her personal life and over time those issuses took over our relationship. We focused more on fixing that stuff then we did on our relationship.

We have seen eachother from time to time over the past months and recently I have tried very hard to remain calm and be myself. She told me that she had to be by herself for away to know if this (me) is what she wants forever.

I understand that this is the only hope I have for getting her back and truly knowing that this is what she wants. Most of the time I have been the one to make contact, but recently I have tried to remain more distant. I want her to contact me because than I will know she wants to be there.

I want her to know that she was more than a girlfriend to me, we were best friends, companions and each others rock. I truly love and respect her decision to take some time apart, but I also know that I can wait forever. Should I try contacting her letting her know I care? or does taking a step back make her understand that. I know actions speak louder than words and all I have given her is words, I want her to see her the my character and heart are stronger then ever.

I am sick of the games I know we have both played. I want to be able to show respect, love and care I have for her on whatever level I can.

She broke my heart, I mended it. the need for her is gone, but the love is stronger than ever. I dont want to chase her any more, but I want her to know the I understand and care, is this even possible? How can I show her who I am without contacting her seeming desperate? I am so calm and over what happend, but I am worried that my past actions (neddiness) my have scared her away.

Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mistery and today is a gift, will that day ever come or am I kidding myself?

Our Suggestion:
I accept your saying "the need for her is gone, but the love is stronger than ever."

But it is hard to understand how you can love someone, have "mended your heart"
and don't want to chase her. It seems you hold a romantic, friendship kind of love for her. If this is what you want then more power to you. You will probably have an excellent chance of getting a very strong friendship from her.

If you want her back as a lover, don't let her forget that you care for her a lot. Don't overdo it. Maybe phone once a week for 15 min or dinner out once a month. If you do nothing, you may regret it one day.

Good luck! George

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