Interested in an Engaged Woman

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Visitor's Question:
I met this girl in my college. We got introduced on friendship day. In our second meet, she told me that she is already engaged to a guy & that she is not happy with him since they are constantly quarelling with each other. I also lied her that even I was engaged to a girl & that I recently had broken off my relations with her just to get her affection. Thereafter we came close to each other. We started talking with each other on telephone & also started meeting each other although only in college. Since we were having a study leave for our exams we didn't use to regularly go to college. But whenever she used to come to college she used to inform me & insisted me to meet her. Every time she used to ask me for notes & every time she used to complain about her boyfriend. We never went out on a date but we had a very good frienship & understanding with each other.

I think she started taking interest in me. But then her boy friend interupted. He came to know that she meets me on a regular basis & warned her not to meet me hence forth. I was not having any feelings for her at that time & only considered her as a friend. Eventually our lenght of conversation became less frequent. Now it has literally stopped & we have not talked with each other for the past 2 months. But now I realise that I m truly missing her & I think I really love her. I know she is not happy with her boy friend but I don't know what's the reason she is still maintaining the relationship with that guy inspite of having breakoff 4 times in past 3 years.

I dont know why she is afraid of him. I hope she gives me a second chance. Please suggest . Shall I go and tell her what I think about her. Will she accept. How can I contact her since she doesn't answer my calls. Or shall I think that she needed me just during the examination times & now since the exams are over she doesn't need me any more. Or is it that she indirecly gave me a chance which I couldn't recognise & eventually lose her.

I badly need ur suggestion. I m deeply in love with this girl & want to spend my entire life with her.

Our Suggestion:
It really sounds like something isn't quite right if this girl dislikes her future husband so much but stays with him. She should have been addressing all these issues with her fiance, not with you. For her to build up this great relationship with you, NOT work on her friendship / relationship with her fiance and then obviously not tell her fiance about you really points to her not handling any of it very well.

Her boyfriend at least is right that she should have been addressing all these issues with HIM and not with YOU, and maybe they did and are very happy now. Also, it does happen sort of frequently that a girl who likes attention will tell all sorts of stories about her "awful" boyfriend to another guy to get him to feel sorry for her - even though her boyfriend is NOT awful. The fact that she stayed with him that entire time says that that might have been the case too.

You can't talk of her "giving you a chance" - she was engaged!! We're not even talking about her DATING another guy. We're talking about her having VOWED TO MARRY another guy. That is a rather serious thing.

I know you are fond of her - but you really need to find a girl that is single and who isn't playing head games like all of this. I would think of that relationship as one in which you learned some valuable lessons, and then open your eyes and heart to the other possibilities that are around you.

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