I want her back but can't hear that she still doesn't know

Suggest Advice

Do you have some advice for this person?

Visitor's Question:
I am a 23 year old bisexual female. I have dated guys before but my ex girlfriend was my first girlfriend. We dated for 3 years 9 months. In the beginning I was very nasty to her. It's hard for me to admit but I verbally abused her. All of my frustrations were taken out on her and I really regret it. I worked for a long time to work out my problems. I finally did and she was still with me. We bought a house together and we have animals together that we consider our "children." I thought that she had forgiven me for my nastiness to her but little did I know that she was letting the anger and hurt build up insie until she had so much anger towards me that she couldn't be with me. A couple of months ago we argued and we both brought up the idea that maybe she should move back in with her parents until we figure it all out. At first we just separated but after I felt like she did not respect my feelings I ended it with her. We were not talking so i did it over email. As soon as I hit the send button I knew that I had just made the biggest mistake of my life. I told her how sorry I was but she just said that it made her see that she doesn't see us spending the rest of our lives together. She said that she doesn't know if she wants to be with me. These words tore my heart out. A little history. When I met her she was the type of girl who had friends everywhere. I was the complete opposite but this was one aspect that really attracted me to her. She was also dating a girl that she had been with since junior high school off and on. She ended up breaking up with her and we began dating. Everything was perfect until I told my family that her and I were intimately involved. They rejected who I am and that is when the depression and abuse came in.

Back to the present time. I miss her so much. When we first broke up I was miserable. I still am to be honest. I lay in bed all day (unless I have to work and then i just come home and lay in bed) reading other people's stories on this site and checking her myspace page to see if she has been online. At first I just couldn't stop telling her how I missed her and wanted her back. I cried to her even though I knew that it only made her feel worse and pushed her further away. I have recently stopped showing my feelings so emotionally. I still let her know that I am madly in love with her and want to be with her though. Things have gotten better. We have made love twice in the past month or so. i know it doesn't sound like much but it was more often then when we were together. She even called me one day out of the blue and talked to me for an hour and a half. Then, she went out to a club and asked me like 10 times over text messages to come up there and hang out with her. Also, I was taking a shower one day and invited her to get in with me. She did, but stupid me tried to make a move. She told me no that she doesn't want to lead me on but "maybe in a couple of weeks." I don't understand that. What could this possibly mean? I mean it is getting better between us. She went out of town last weekend. I made her a "goody" bag with some stuff for her to eat on her way. Before she left she came by the house, gave me a kiss, and then rushed out. I said "i love you" and she asked if I was mad. I said that I was ( I really wasn't, just hurt) and then an hour later she texted me to say sorry for hurting me that she was just in a hurry. We talked over text until she got to her destination (15 hours away!!!) I haven't talked to her since. She will be coming home in a few days and I want to talk to her but I have a feeling that if I do then I will hear the words that I can't bare to hear anymore "i'm still not sure." They hurt more than i could ever explain. She has also began talking to her ex girlfriend again. They are close friends but she assures me that she has no feelings for her. It seems like she is going back to the person she was before we got together. She even said that she wants to talk to her ex gf every day even if we get back together. Does that seem like a lot to talk to a friend? I guess I'm just asking what do I do next? I want to be here for her because I love her to death. I can see us growing old together and continuing on to all of the dreams that we once had together. Do I call her when she gets back or do I wait for her to call me? And, what in the world does "maybe in a couple of weeks" mean? Do I even have a chance to get back together with her? I'm sorry this is so long but I have been lost for the past few months and I need advice!!!!



Our Suggestion:
I don't know what "maybe next week" means either. Maybe she was at a loss for words and said the wrong thing.

As far as her wanting to talk to her ex every day, my guess is that she was simply making a point by over exaggeration.

Try to be her best friend and let her know that you love her but don't dwell on it too much and drive her away. A best friend would give her a call when she gets back so that is probably what you should do.

Good luck! George



--Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com



Your Advice:

IMPORTANT NOTE: This form is not for getting advice!! This form is for adding your helpful note to THIS existing question. If you need advice, pleae read the Advice Pages.



Your Gender:
Female | Male

Your Age Range:




Theme by TheBootstrapThemes