I think he's confused and I want him back.

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Do you have some advice for this person?

Visitor's Question:
My ex and I dated for a year and two months. We have a 6 week old daughter together. During the last few months of our relationship, at times he acted like he cared about me and other times he acted distant. I got him to eventually open up and he said he wasnt sure what he wanted any more. It wouldnt take him too long to tell me that he loves me again and we'd be back on. However, this pattern of "I love you/I dont love you any more" continued. After a massive arguement a few weeks ago, I threw a drink in his face and hit him- I was just so sick of being pulled back and forth that I just snapped. He left the bar we were in and it didnt take him too long for him to text me and beg me to take him back. Eventually he talked me round and I agreed to meet him the next day. He proceeded to tell me that he loved me and wanted to marry me and we ended up having sex. Again I was fooled into thinking things had changed. That was three weeks ago and this weekend past I had been staying at his with our daughter (in seperate beds, because he was going through a "Im not sure what I want" phase again) and I talked to him again and managed to get it out of him that he'd began seeing someone else, but only for the past few days. I had suspected this, but I was still really upset and stormed off to bed. The next morning he came in to the room, sat on the bed and apologised about upsetting me and things. He gave me a really tight hug and pulled me back to him again when I tried to break it (it wasnt that I didnt want the hug, he was just hugging me for a while!). And again, lulled into this false sense of things being alright again, we had sex. For most of the day, he was fine with me but later he acted weird again. I straight out asked him did he feel guilty because he has a new girlfriend and he said yes and then added that that shouldnt have happened and that it was spur of the moment. He also said he didnt want to be with me any more.

I just don't know what to think though, I truly dont think his feelings could have changed from loving and wanting to marry me to not loving and not wanting to be with me in a few weeks. Any time we have a massive arguement he comes crawling back. I just don't understand it. He has a bracelet of mine that he has worn since the beginning of our relationship and has never taken it off, he still hasnt. I just would like to figure out what he's truly thinking, he just isnt very open.

Our Suggestion:
My guess is that he is troubled about having a child.

The pressure of being a father may be getting him down and he is acting erratically. He is both drawn to you and driven from you because of his mixed up feelings.

Since you want him back, you should just tell him that and ask him how he feels about the baby. Maybe that will help him figure out what is going on.

Good luck! George

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