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Visitor's Question:
We have been in a relationship for 2years and 2months now. It has been up and downs for like the past year. We have been through a lot such as pregant which we didn't follow through with,me abuseing her, stalling, and even threaten her life. I know that sound like a pretty rough relationship, but I got myself together after that and we made progess with our relationship. We basically stay together we are around each other everyday of the week all day beside school and work. We are college students by the way. We lay down at night and hold each other and say we not happy with each other, she tell me to break up with her,we both was stressed out for reason like she has no friends,working, and school.I have two roommates thats my closes friends they go out and I stay home with her just to be around her. We grew together so fast thats all we wanted to do was be around each other. So recently her b-day pasted and she had a "bday weekend," her friends from out of town where she is from came in. Me being the man that I am I try to put myself into the plans which were all girls. She got a room down the street from my apt. for fri and sat and rented a car b/c mine was in the shop. I try to ruing everything b/c I wasn't around her, and I was very jeasous that she was spending time with everyone but me. So, I walk down to the hotel and look for her and I happen to see her on the elvator so it was a surprise for the both of us. So she ask me to leave, and I ask for what so she calls the police on me.So walked back home without any problems. So the next day it was a event going on at campus around 7pm. I still didn't have a car so I called my friend to pick me up an half hour earlier than it started so I can watch when she come in. So after that I ask her can i ride with her afterward and she said no "it ladies night" find your roommates and ride with them and they also came to the event. So i did something to her to make her embrassed so she filed a police report on me that night. Her family members got involved and her mother pull her out of school and moved back home. And i didnt contact her at all. So she call me last night crying and feeling the same way i am. We talked for 2 hours about the situation she told me she love me and she miss me and things just not the same. I felt the same way i can't sleep nor eat. and she filed for a protection order against me. We have that love in our heart from that conversation on the phone. She just said we need to get our self together then be friends.I also enrolled in counsiling that following Wednesday for anger management. I gave her all her items out of the apt. She understand i am not a bad boyfriend i just cant control my actions and she really want me to work on that while we are apart. She said i want us to be happy and move on and better ourselves.She said give us some space, and I agreed with her on that. I told her I wasnt ready for no relationship yet until i get myself together and she said thats great. I want to know once i get my problems taking care will I have her again? We truly love each other and it really hurt us to be apart. I need your help I can't live without her.I really miss my baby and i love her and she know that.

Our Suggestion:
I'm sorry you are in this situation.

You are doing the right thing by enrolling in the anger management course. It will be even tougher on you because you are under a lot of tension right now so hang in there.

If your restraining order allows it, ask her if you can call her weekly just to say hi and talk for 15 mins. Let her know you miss her and care for her but don't get too dramatical about it.

You probably realize you've dug a hole for yourself and now it is time to step up to the plate and dig yourself out of the hole. It will take a lot of work, but since you love her so much you should be able to do it.

Once you get better, she will be even more attracted to you and you can hope for the best. Only time will tell.

Good luck! George

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