Why she hates me

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Visitor's Question:
Before 4 years i went to spain to study in university. I am from Bahrain and i didn't know anybody there.I knew a woman from somalia and through her i knew a somali lady married to a bahraini. She was with her sister . her sister was very friendly to me but she was very cold and didn't want to get closer to me. I went to her house but when her husband came back, i thought she would introduce me to him as we are from the same country and tribe but she closed the door so that her husband shouldn't see me. I went again to her house but she wasn't nice to me so i thought its better to stop contact with her because maybe she is jealous of her husband. I used to see her in streets but she will only say hello and a bit of conversation. It was o.k with me . I made some friends and i didm't bother about her hatred of me . I am very highly educated woman and she is illiterate. After about 2 years she met me at a friends house and asked me to go to her house. I was surprised as when i was new to the country and didn't know anybody she avoided me and now i have lots of friends she wants to be friends.I started wearing western clothes and i think she wanted to show her husband that i have forgotten my culture. I didn't go to her. After about 3 months i met her at friends she didn't even say hello. She was making herself as if she doesn't know me. It continued like this but sometimes if she talks to me she will try to put me down and say to me things that are hurtful.i didn't bother and i pretended like i don't understand that she hates me while she makes it obvious to me. I didn't want any problems with her . I heard she talks bad about me to my friends saying that i am living with a man (i am a muslim and that is not allowed) she tries to spoil my reputation and make me look like a looser. All other girls view me as a hardworking academic girl but she spread very bad words about me. Once she came with her husband to my friend and as usual didn't speak a word with me. My friend asked me if i speak to her husband as he is my tribe. I told her no as we were never introduced.She said this woman is jealous of you because you are the only girl in this town from bahrain and she thinks because you are from same tribe you will understand each other and get closer. my friend tried to break this silence, she asked the guy if he will drink tea he said no and she told him that its not her who will make the tea but the bahraini girl. I then started talking to him and told him i'll make the tea for him. He said he didn't want tea but he really was very excited talking to me and made a long conversation with me regarding tea. She was boiling and she started telling me i became fat and asked if i was married. I know she wanted to put me down in front of her husband as she always say that i'm living with a man in sin. Anyway, i completed my education and went back to bahrain but after 6 months i went back to spain and was living with one of this woman's friend. There were some bahrani guys living with her and her husband and iraqi guy. Those guys saw me and really liked me. They went to tell her we've seen a beautiful bahreni girl at your friends. She told them that girl came here to study before and she didn't complete her studies as she had lots of boyfriends and had lots of problems and was living with a guy. I didn't know, i went to her house with my friend and she arranged to introduce me to iraqi guy as he asked her. I trusted her and even told her that that guy gave me his number. After few days we met at a party and she didn't talk to me and she took my friend(the one i stay with)to the kitchen and closed the door while i was standing outside.I knew she was talking about me . she asked her if i was dating that guy. She could have asked me because i didn't make it a secret at the first place. she then opened the door and my friend told me she was asking about me.Whats wrong with her? I started dating the guy but we decided not to tell her anything. she was everyday talking very dirty about me to my boyfriend and the other bahreni guys.she kept on asking him if he was going out with me.After sometime she went to my friends and told them that my boyfriend told her husband that i am very easy girl and that he has slept with me. I really got hurt but my boyfriend told me he never said anything about me she is the one always asking him.I now broke with my boyfriend and am single.This somali woman is married for 14 years and have only one 4 year old child. She has difficulty having kids.Why is she following me and my life?why she hates me and wants to spoil my reputation? Please advice how can i solve this problem.She is illiterete i don't know how to deal with her. Should I talk about this to her husband?help

Our Suggestion:
Tell your friends about the trouble you are having with this woman.

Ask their advice on how to handle the situation. This will get them on your side and against the other woman. I don't advise talking with the husband because he will stand up for his wife. And, it will make her even more jealous of you.

My advice is based on my experiences in a different culture, so perhaps it is not good for you.

Good luck! George

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