We broke up, now I'm pregnant

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Visitor's Question:
my boyfriend broke up with me a week ago. i've been devastated since because i want him back so bad. haven't slept or eaten. i've been feeling nauseous too and been urinating more frequently. i thought it was just psychosomatic manifestations of the pain i was going through. and then i got suspicious... maybe i'm pregnant. i took a home pregnancy test and it turned out positive. i went to a doctor for a second opinion. she says i'm positive. but she also told me that i was having what she considered a "high-risk" pregnancy because i'm not healthy and my poor medical record. she think i might lose it and has already warned me not to panic if i do miscarry.

i have two problems now that i can see: the pregnancy and wanting my boyfriend back. i think that telling him i'm pregnant will get him back for sure. but i don't want him to stay with me because he's guilty and wants to make things "right". on the other hand, if i hold telling him i'm pregnant and do other things (like write him a letter or call him to talk) to get him back, the anxiety might make lose the baby. i don't know how he'll take it if i lose the baby.

i feel alone and scared. i really want my boyfriend back. worrying about it might make me miscarry. what should i do?

Our Suggestion:
I would definitely tell him, he deserves to know. He can make his own decision on to stay or not stay or help or whatever, but as the father of the child he deserves to be able to fully make that decision on his own. He doesn't deserve having the ability to decide taken away from him.

Hopefully he will decide to support you through the pregnancy to start with, and to put off other concerns for now. He and you should work to have you healthy and relaxed, and talk about ways to get that to happen. If you guys broke up before, this might be an excellent time to talk to a therapist so you can learn ways to deal with issues and to handle stress. It's a critical time for you to have those skills.

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