i made a huge mistake and cheated.

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Do you have some advice for this person?

Visitor's Question:
I was going out with the love of my life for two years. we were best friends and I would and always did anything for her. She moved home for a few months due to college finishinfg and I was so desperately lonely. we didnt know when wed be back near each other again. I would travel to see her and she likewise but it wasnt often we saw each other I foolishly saw another girl to fill the void of lonliness that i felt. |Then the love of my life got work near me again and I promised myself to never see another woman again. I realised how much my girl meant to me. I had even started going to guidance to get help for my lonliness issues and swore to myself to be a better man. However she found out about the other girl and wants nothing more to do with her. She told me I had broken hr heart forever and Im not only wracked with guilt but for weeks I havent slept or eaten. I was suicidal for so long but have gotten over that slightly but i would give thewhole world to have my sweetheart back. I am so desperate because my world is nothing without her. Please please help me.

Our Suggestion:
My best advice is to continue seeing your counselor and get some knowledgable direction. There is no substitute for talking personally with someone.

Keeping up your health is very important. Buy something like Ensure at the supermarket or pharmacy. They are liquid supplements that are full of nutrients and you can swallow them down very easily. Then ask your counselor about methods of getting some sleep, including sleeping pills if appropriate. Get some exercise even if it is simply walking.

You are through the worst of the pain now, even though it is still with you. Consider writing her notes or emails telling her how much you love and miss her and how much you regret your mistake. Even if she rejects them, keep writing because it will make you feel better to express yourself and, who knows, it may influence her.

And, don't beat yourself up so much. You are human and we all make mistakes. A loving partner will eventually forgive and learn to trust again. This is why it is important for you to continue to contact her. Help her build up her trust. She must have loved you very much, so give her time and she hopefully will come back to you. Whenever you can afford it, send her some flowers with a card that says "I am so sorry!"

Good luck and hope you start to feel better! George

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