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Visitor's Question:
Alright, my girl and I have been together for close to two years. We're were/are an interracial couple. When we first started dating, everyone wanted to get with her. They didn't want her with be cause i was black. She pushes them all away, until her ex came in the picture. He would say he loved her and things of that nature and I sympathisized with the poor guy and I didn't say a word, I let her handle the entire situation. Until he called her a "N-Lover". From there I flipped and told her not to talk to him. However, she still did, she considered him a dear friend. Throughout our relation he kept coming back and messing things up and starting fights bewteen her and I. Until finally in August of this year she wanted a break because she didnt know if she loved me or him. I gave her a week to decide becuase it wasnt fair to me. Well thats what I kept telling myself. In the end of that week she chose me and he disappeared from our relationship. Now with that problem solved everything was fine until thanksgiving weekend. She lost her job and her great grand mother had a stroke all in the same weekend. Right there she broke up with me and said she just wanted to be friends. I was hurt and did something dumb and kissed another girl and tried to get hooked up with another girl to try and forget about her, but I couldn't do it. I ended up telling her everything I did and appologized for what I tried to do and Told her how much I loved her. She loved me two and it hurt both of us equally. Though we didn't get back to gether in the official sense I guess, We still exchanged I love yous, we still went out together, we still kissed we still slept together it was like nothing has ever happened. Then she met some guy who was a friend of a best friend and started bragging to me how he was such a great guy, such a gentleman and all of that. They went out to a club as a big group until 4 in the morning. 2 girls and 8 guys. I was superbly pissed because I've always wanted to take her dancing and she would never go with me, but she could go with some just she just met. What made it orse was that she continued bragging about how the guy paid for everything that night and how nice he was. Well, we got over that and put everything behind us yet again! NOW, shes telling me she doesn't know if she loves me and she also told me she kissed another guy (Different guy). I asked her two questions. If she loved me and if she had feelings for this other guy (She's known him for a few years) Her answer was i don't know.

This really hurt me because even though we had our problems we got over the and everything was fine, we still loved each other. Now I have no idea whats going on. One day it can go from being affectionate to the next where she desont want me to even touch her. Its like "She loves me, she loves me not" Its completely random now. I love this girl with all that I am and I would do anything for her. But I have no idea on what to do. I don't know how to even approach her anymore, I feel used and dejected. I want her to love me too like before.

I don't know how we went form talking about marriage and kids, and life after cllege and her telling me shes so sure in her love for me. To an I don't know.

Please give me some sort of advice as to what to do.

Our Suggestion:
You have both hurt each other and need to rebuild trust and a solid relationship.

You should make very sure that she knows you love her and would do anything for her. She needs to hear that... anyone would.

To find out how to rebuild trust look at this link:

http://www.coping.org/growth/trust.htm

This will help you.

Good luck! George

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