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Visitor's Question:

I am a college student in the midwest, but I live on the West Coast during the summer. I've been talking to a girl for a while now from my school, about six months. We have mostly talked online because she studies soooo much, but we have eaten together with and without friends a few times. We've never been on any kind of date. She lives on the East Coast. I decided last year that I would try to keep up contact with her over the summer in hopes of asking her out this next year. I have talked to her through facebook quite extensively, even about extremely personal things. School is coming up soon and I want to get to do more things just her and I. I don't know how to guide this towards a relationship. I know that she considers me a very good friend and I know that there have been a couple points where if I had asked her out she would have guarentee said yes. I think she kind of like me but she is shy and she will not make the move. I want to know how I should go about this because like I said, we are very good friends and I'm nervous that if I don't go about this in the right manner that she will say that we should just stay friends. To ask her out, should I do it right when we get to school or wait a couple weeks and try to do some things together? Should I ask her about dating while doing something together or before doing something together? I'm trying to handle this patiently but not blow my chances because this really means a lot to me.


Our Suggestion:
As soon as you two get back to school, ask her out for dinner, or a walk, bowling, or a picnic. Ask her as a friend so she isn't scared off. Then tell her that your friendship is very, very important to you but that you have started "developing feelings" for her over the summer. Ask her how she feels about that.

With any luck she will indicate that she has similar feelings for you. But even if she doesn't, she will start thinking about you in a different way and find herself falling in love with you. Give it time.

Good luck! George

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