I like her again.

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Do you have some advice for this person?

Visitor's Question:
I'm a girl. I like a girl. Last year we were pretty close, and I had a big crush on her, too. Thing is, I wasn't ready to date then. She was my first kiss -- it went really fast. She was over at my house, and before I really knew what was going on we were making out. We made out for like an hour, and everything was fine that night, but the next day I felt so awkward and I wanted to run and her flirting only made it worse.

I'm so afraid to get hurt. That's why I reacted like that -- that and the fact that she wanted me to date her and I was dead scared of commitment AND not all that comfortable with my sexuality.

Anyway, our friendship sorta vanished after that. There was so much drama, and in the end we just drifted apart. Toward the end of the year we were friends again and my crush for her came back, but then the year ended and summer arrived.

We didn't see each other all over the summer, but when school started I STILL liked her. Thing is, she hangs out with different people now. There's this older guy who she dated and really likes, but now they are just friends with benefits and it really pisses me off because he uses her and hurts her so much. She really likes him and will do anything to impress him, seriously. She's giving him blowjobs and everything, and I hate that he's making her do stuff like that. She is always depressed about the whole thing, because he's got about ten other friend-with-benefit girls, too.

So, the point is that I still like her. I talk to her every few days, and she flirts with me which only makes me want to be with her even more. I want a relationship now. And I'm EXTREMELY picky, so this is really saying something. I get asked out a ton, but I ONLY want HER. She also flirts with this other female friend of mine, and naturally I'm slightly jealous.

So I just want to know what to do. How do I get close to her again? How do I tell her? When do I tell her -- do I wait until she's over the guy or tell her now and just hope she'll get over him? Should I flirt with her or not? What are some things I can say? (I'm kinda shy, by the way.)

...I even carry around a piece of the bracelet she gave me last year everywhere with me (it broke a while ago)..

Thanks.

Our Suggestion:
If your crush was dating someone else I would normally advise you to hang back and only be friends. But she isn't dating him, he is using her.

You primary goal should be to build a very strong friendship with her and let her know that you still want her. Do it now and get over some of your bad feelings. Yes, you should flirt with her and that will help your friendship.

That will get you close to her again. My only advice about things to say is that they should be from your heart. Talking from the heart takes away a lot of shyness.

Good luck! George

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