5 years together and I fiind out from a friend he went on a date 2 years ago!

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Visitor's Question:
I have been with my boyfriend for 5 years now. 2 weeks ago i found out he went mini golfing with another girl so that he could use her to get free tanning lotion. I was crushed and still am. I was so sick to my stomach i was throwing up. I loved him so much and this is not the person i thought i knew. I am trying to work it out but all he is concerned about is how embarassed he is to face my family and wont. he is also mad that i won't be sexual with him. I am so hurt by everything that I don't know where to turn. Will he do it again? How could you lie for 2 years! He to this day says that he did not cheat, he was only hanging out with a girl to get free stuff. To me this is cheating. Where do I go from here!???

Our Suggestion:
My advice is to seek professional counseling as soon as possible to help you understand why you are reacting so strongly to this incident.

It is abnormal to be throwing up two years later over what I consider (after years and thousands of questions) to be a very minor mistake by your boyfriend.
At your age, it would be good for you to have the emotional skills and experience to handle this situation. A counselor could help you.

Hopefully you will find it in you to talk it over with him (nicely), come to realize it isn't cheating and lying worth agonizing over, and to forgive him.
Considering how strongly you feel about this, it isn't likely that you will be able to do this easily if at all. If you want to save your relationship please see a counselor.

Good luck! George

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