even more confused!

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Visitor's Question:
I know I just got a response but something else came up with my friend which I have a crush on. Yesterday I was talking to her and she let me know that she was talking with some guy that she is crazy about but is a big jerk. Last week I took her to the movies because this guy she's crazy about ditched her for something else. So she told me that she likes this guy so much that she doesn't care about taking his crap. She is single but is after this guy, while this whole week I felt she wanted something more than friendship with me, but I guess I took it the wrong way. I'm always there for her and do everything I can for her when she is down or in need of help. I really like her but she feels what I feel for her for another guy. Why do girls go for jerks, why do nice guys always lose? What can I do to let her know I'm the right one for her, the one who cares? How do I get her attention away from the jerk to me? She knows I like her, so is there anything I can do to win her heart over? Anything romantic? I don't want to see her hurt. Need advice.

Our Suggestion:
I answered your last question yesterday. Please wait at least a week before posting follow-up questions.

There are no easy answers to the questions you raise. The reasons she is attracted to the other guy are buried in her past experiences which she may herself not understand. Some women are intrigued by the adventure, challenge, and excitement of a jerk or "bad boy." They may feel the need to help the guy out of his personality problems. As an example, you feel good when you can help your friend.

You should not try to change yourself to be a jerk, but you can begin to show her your needs where she can help you. This will make you more attractive and romantic to her. Tell her you are having trouble finding someone to love you. Her suggestions will be of great use to you since they will reflect her own thinking. The problem you pose will also be romantic to her. It will also get her to think of you as a boy in need of love and so she may fall for you in order to help you out.

You can even tell her that you like her a lot but that you understand that she is not interested so you are looking elsewhere. This may make her feel that she doesn't want to lose you and she could be drawn closer to you for that reason.

Good luck! George

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