We Argued All the Time - We Broke Up

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Visitor's Question:
My girlfriend and i broke up three weeks ago because we were always arguing about stupid stuff and didnt have very much time together. now she is hanging out with another guy and says she likes him. but we still talk every day and night and have hung out together a few times.

how can i get back together with me? i am in love with her and she says that she does love me too.



Our Suggestion:
It's easy to say "Everybody argues" and "it was only stupid stuff we argue about". But it's a very real fact of life that arguments can completely destroy relationships. The fact that you argue wears you away like water torture and eventually it completely pulls you apart. Yes, you love each other, but you simply can't DEAL with the arguing any more and you look for something new.

You need to really sit down and talk with her - I have advice here -

http://www.romanceclass.com/miscr/howto/hardtalk.asp

and discuss what bothered you. Little stuff, big stuff, hurtful stuff, it doesn't matter. Talk about it ALL even if it seems minor. Sometimes it is the really minor things that drive you completely insane. And the fact that you never discuss them is what makes them so bad. They just wear away at you until you snap.

If you guys both tell each other that you love each other - and that together you CAN solve these problems - then you can. If you honestly tell each other what is bothering you even though it may be DIFFICULT, that is the most important part. Sometimes you feel like you should hide things from your partner because it might hurt them. But as you've seen, if you hide things from each other, it causes you to self destruct. Which is the WORST form of harm. So the important thing is to tell each other that TOGETHER you can face it but that it will involve complete honesty, complete trust, and working as a team.

Yes it might be EASY for her with this other guy. But if she loves YOU then she needs to work through the situation with you. Life is simply not easy! It involves work and effort. Anything worth having is worth working on. If you and she put time and effort into this relationship, it can be incredibly wonderful and last for years. But it won't just happen. It will involve you both really putting energy into MAKING it work.

--Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com



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